Bernadette: How do I look?
Howard: Fine.
Bernadette: Uh-oh, is someone a little blue? Come on, Howie, thats like the funniest thing I've ever said in my life.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Howard: A week ago, I was an astronaut.
Bernadette: Yeah, well, today you're a Smurf! Keep moving!

Stuart: Hey. Hey, look at you guys!
Amy: I'm Raggedy Ann, and he's Raggedy C-3PO.
Sheldon: It was a compromise. I lost.

Howard: Okay, here it is. Bernadette said you guys are all sick of me talking about my trip to space. Is that true?
Sheldon: Yes.
Raj: No.
Sheldon: We seem to have different approaches here. I was going for helpful honesty. I have no idea what you're doing.
Raj: It's called being nice.
Sheldon: Okay. If you think being nice will get him to shut up, I'll try it.