Quotes from ‘The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition’

The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

'The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition' - Season 2, Episode 19

Penny is no longer the only girl in town when an attractive actress moves into the apartment building and threatens to become the "new Penny".

Air Date: March 30, 2009.

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Howard: Okay, I get it. You're angry. You don't want to see your little bird leave the nest.
Mrs. Wolowitz Little bird? You're almost thirty. Fly, for God's sake!

Quote from Howard

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

Quote from Penny

Wolowitz: According to Alicia's Facebook page, she's hooking up with one of the producers on CSI.
Penny: Dead whore on TV, live one in real life.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Please. We're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids.
Leonard: It's not so bad.
Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. You hear stories about this things, but you never think it'll happen to you.
Leonard:So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You set it on DTS, didn't you?
Leonard: I had to, she called me cutie.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Do those sound like castanets to you?
Leonard: The box says 'kitchen'.
Sheldon: So? Do cocaine smugglers write 'cocaine' on the box?

Quote from Mrs. Wolowitz

Howard: Enough with the guilt, ma. We'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you.
Mrs. Wolowitz The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like the Olive Garden?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Change is never fine, they say it is, but it's not.
Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia urine smell.

Quote from Sheldon

*Penny enters the apartment without knocking*
Penny: Hello there.
Sheldon: Who is it? Hello, Penny. It's open, come in. Sarcasm.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, mimicry. I enjoy mimicry. I've been working on Admiral Ackbar from Return of the Jedi. "It's a trap". You have to imagine me with a giant squid head. "It's a trap! It's a trap. It's a trap."

Quote from Penny

Howard: I'll take the apartment upstairs. I can finally get away from my mother, and we can spend some more time together, if you catch my drift.
Penny: The horror.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Listen to that! 'Stomp, stomp, stomp.' It's Wolowitz and his stacked heels that fool no one.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Shucks means shucks. Let one go once in a while.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know what? Anyone could rent that apartment now. An opera singer, the cast of Stomp, a tap dancing pirate with a wooden leg.
Leonard: Why are you making it worse?
Penny: I tried making it better, he wouldn't go for it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Hold on. You honestly expect me to believe that social protocol dictates we break our backs helping Wolowitz move, and then he only need buy us a pizza?
Leonard: I'm sorry, that really is how it works.
Sheldon: You're tricking me. You tell me the truth. What do we get?
Leonard: Raj, help me out here.
Raj: You get to choose between a mountain bike or a PS3.
Sheldon: I knew it! PS3, definitely PS3. Who would pick a mountain bike?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Even though the menu description specifies shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Brown rice, not white?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard?

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