Howard: Oh great it's my cousin David about the ring. Hey David what'd you find? Sure half a carat is fine. Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. It's one of the reasons I love her.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Raj: Shut your ass!

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.

Sheldon: I must say, Amy, pretending to have intercourse with you has given me a great deal of satisfaction.