Quotes from ‘The Gorilla Dissolution’

The Gorilla Dissolution

'The Gorilla Dissolution' - Season 7, Episode 23

A bad day at work causes Penny to reconsider the decisions she's made in her career - and her romantic life. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette take care of an injured Mrs. Wolowitz, and Raj gets relationship advice from Sheldon.

Air Date: May 8, 2014.

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: I'm glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I'm glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Quote from Penny

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Quote from Penny

Raj: Oh, the movie's not as bad as you thought?
Penny: No, it is. But I decided instead of complaining about it, I'm going to go in every day and give it my all.
Amy: Good for you.
Penny: Thanks. There's no reason why I shouldn't be the best bi-sexual, go-go dancer, slowly transforming into a killer gorilla, anyone's ever seen.

Quote from Howard

Bernadette: After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha?
Howard: A mocha?! Well, it must be nice to be Queen.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Oh, I know. This might help. *Gets a ring out of his wallet*
Penny: Where did you get a ring?
Leonard: I've had it for a couple of years. Not important.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Penny, will you marry me?
Penny: Oh my god, yes!

Quote from Raj

Emily: If I saw you out with another woman, I'd be pretty upset.
Raj: Thank you. Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: I don't know. The bisexual, gorilla, go-go dancer in Schindler's list is tough to beat.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: Come on. How can you be sad when you're going home with all five foot six of this?
Penny: You think you're five foot six? That's funny.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: So is that it? Are we engaged?
Penny: Yeah, I think so.
Leonard: All right.
Penny: What's wrong?
Leonard: I'm not sure. It just feels a little anti-climactic.
Penny: Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?

Quote from Howard

Raj: If she isn't going to use it, why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a honey-baked ham.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: *Laughs* Very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
Leonard: It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I know.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Wow, that fell apart really fast.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: This would have been so much more romantic if you didn't have gorilla hair on your fingers.

Quote from Penny

Leonard: So I'm like a bran muffin?
Penny: What? No, that's not what I'm saying.
Leonard: No, that's exactly what you're saying. I'm the boring thing you're choosing because I'm good for you.
Penny: What does it matter? I'm choosing you.
Leonard: It matters a lot. I don't want to be a bran muffin. I want to be a cinnabon, a strawberry pop tart. Something you're excited about, even if it could give you diabetes.
Penny: Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: No, it's too late. I'm your bran muffin. Probably fat free and good for your colon.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds. Do you happen to have any on you?
Raj: Sorry, I left them in my turban.

Quote from Raj

Raj: So how many tattoos?
Emily: One on my shoulder. One not on my shoulder. And one really not on my shoulder.
Raj: It's been a long time since I've seen a girl's really not her shoulder.

Quote from Howard

Howard: The doctor says you've got to get exercise.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I get plenty of exercise.
Howard: Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Aren't you going to get 3D glasses?
Sheldon: I brought my own. No sense in risking "bridge of nose Herpes".
Raj: Is that a real thing?
Sheldon: Well, until they invent nose condoms, I'm not finding out.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

Quote from Howard

Mrs. Wolowitz: (Off screen) I'm hungry again!
Howard: It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.

Quote from Wil Wheaton

Wil Wheaton: Penny, it's not about being famous. It's about the art. It's about the passion we have for our craft. *cell phone beeps* I have an audition for Sharnkado 2! If I book this, I am so going to pay you back for this beer.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: And you were so good in the commercial.
Penny: It was for haemorrhoid cream.
Leonard: And I got itchy and swolen just watching you.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: What took you so long? The grocery store's only a few blocks away.
Bernadette: They only had regular yoghurt. I had to go a different store to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes.

Quote from Raj

Raj: But before I take my shirt off, I need like ten minutes to do some crunches.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Of course you would. You're a loving person. I'm what my people would call a putz.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: Thanks for coming with me.
Raj: Thanks for inviting me when everyone else said no.

Quote from Raj

Raj: So you have tattoos?
Emily: Yeah.
Raj: I don't. I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing.
Emily: That's cool.
Raj: It's a piercing.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: How many women have you had dates with?
Raj: Eleven.
Sheldon: How many of those women did you think would become your perfect companion?
Raj: Eleven.
Raj: Wait, do I count the 200lb Sailor Moon girl that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic-Con?
Sheldon: Sure.
Raj: I'll stick with eleven. She liked Howard better.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I thought that subject had run its course, so I changed it. It's called reading the room, Amy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Quite all right. After my forehead melanoma scare, I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.

Quote from Penny

Wil Wheaton: Forget it, man. It's crap. Just move on to the next thing.
Penny: It's easy for you to say. You used to be famous.
Wil Wheaton: Hey, I just lost a job for you.
Penny: Okay, I'm sorry. You're famous.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: What about when you did Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
Penny: It was above a bowling alley.
Leonard: Yeah, but there was ample parking.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know the only thing worse than a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass, is getting fired from a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Have you had intercourse?
Raj: No.
Sheldon: Well stick to your guns. There'll be a lot of pressure.

Quote from Howard

Howard: Would you like me to play some Polish music while you carry her to the toilet?
Bernadette: You are a putz.
Howard: As advertised.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That was awkward, right?
Raj: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Is it because she's dating you but was out with that other fella?
Raj: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
Sheldon: Can't happen. We have an iron-clad relationship agreement which precludes her from sexual contact with anyone other than me.
Raj: But you don't have sex with her either.
Sheldon: Slick, huh?

Quote from Bernadette

Bernadette: Almost there. You're doing great.
Howard: Thanks for lifting my spirits. Next time, try lifting the box.

Submit Quotes