Bernadette: (on the phone) Howie, stop. I can't talk like that. Amy's right here.
Amy: (on the phone) Sheldon, stop. For the last time, I will not bring home bed bugs.
Bernadette: The hotel's nice. There's a pool, a gym, the bar looks like fun.
Amy: Because I looked in the bed, and there are no bugs.
Bernadette: Aw, I love you, too. If I don't talk to you before you go to sleep, I'll meet you in dreamland.
Amy: Good night. No, I will not consider sleeping in my garment bag.

Amy: Okay, what is going on?
Penny: We just want you to be prepared for any surprises that could happen tomorrow.
Amy: What surprises?
Bernadette: We don't want to spoil anything, but you should know that Sheldon said he's ready to be physical.
Amy: You shut your damn mouth! You actually heard him say this?
Penny: Yes, he said he wants to do something to show you how much you mean to him.
Amy: I can't believe it. I don't know what to say.
Bernadette: Well, we're really happy for you and we know how much-
Amy: I do know what to say. Let's get me waxed!

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not get lucky.
Amy: You and me both, brother.

Amy: Do you have any idea how hard it is to laugh at a knock knock joke that starts "Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy. Knock Knock Knock, Amy"?

Amy: It would be nice to be with a man who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. FYI, it's another cardigan.

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Raj: Who died and made you the king of moments?