Barry Kripke: Let me ask you a question. At what point did National Public Radio have to start scraping the bottom of the barrel for its guest? Don't answer, it's rhetorical.

Sheldon: My credibility may have been damaged.
Barry Kripke: Completely wrecked.

Barry Kripke: Yeah, but research in to dark energy proved that Einstein's cosmological constant was right all along. So you're still, surprise surprise, a loser.

Barry Kripke: Hey, Cooper. Read your retraction email. Way to destroy your reputation!

Sheldon: Attention, everyone. I'm Sheldon Cooper. As those of you in the physics department might know, my career trajectory has taken a minor detour.
Barry Kripke: Off a cliff.

Sheldon: You see. People have been pointing and laughing at me all morning.
Barry Kripke: Not true. People have been pointing and laughing at you your whole life.

Barry Kripke: Hey, Hofstadter. Heard about your latest proton anti-decay experiment. 20,000 data runs and no statistically significant results. Very impressive.

Sheldon: Kripke, what would you say to the idea of you and I becoming friends?
Barry Kripke: I would say "I have no interest in becoming your friend".

Barry Kripke: Nope, I wanna climb some rocks.

Barry Kripke: Come on, they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this.

Barry Kripke: Hey, look at you Cooper. You're almost half way to the top.

Barry Kripke: Hello to you, too!

Leonard: How was rock climbing?
Barry Kripke: He passed out. He just hung there like a big salami.

Sheldon: That's where I sit.
Barry Kripke: Ooh, you have a special spot. What kind of wacko are you?

Barry Kripke: Be right back. I gotta floss the Indian food out of my teeth if I'm going to eat Chinese.