Sheldon: Perhaps Howard meant passive-aggressive like asking our group to help on your project, and then only choosing Leonard.
Raj: Look, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, but you do have strong personalities and always end up taking over.
Howard: It's not always.
Leonard: What about when we went to Comic-Con and dressed like Jabba the Hutt? You got to be Jabba's head, and I got to be his fat slug butt.
Sheldon: We looked great.
Leonard: You let a guy sit on me.
Howard: He was dressed as Princess Leia. It made a nice picture.

Bernadette: Guys. In the time you've been sitting here playing video games, I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies and went to the bank.
Stuart: I put on pants.
Howard: Kiss-ass.

Stuart: Bernadette's not wrong. She does work hard around here.
Raj: Yeah, maybe it's a good thing if she stops babying you so much.
Howard: She doesn't baby me.
Stuart: I saw her pull you home in a wagon.
Howard: For your information, I twisted my ankle chasing the ice cream truck.

Raj: You're one to talk. You've been complaining about Stuart living here for the past year. I don't see you showing him the door.
Howard: That's not the same thing. Emily's a person. Stuart's more like an infestation, something you spray for.

Howard: When he gets home, I'm dropping the hammer.
Bernadette: Ooh, I like when you take charge.
Howard: Oh, I'm not taking charge. You're the hammer.

Stuart: I felt bad for finishing your yoghurt, so I bought more. And, Howard, your favourite fruit is in season. Crunch Berries.
Bernadette: Don't let that sway you.
Howard: It's hard not to. They taste so much better than real berries.

Howard: You put up a good fight, lug nut, but you've met your match.

Barry Kripke: Well, sorry to disappoint you, but fencing is a serious sport. If you're not willing to put in the effort, you might as well just leave now.
Sheldon: We're not afraid of physical activity.
Howard: Yeah, I already ran 18 miles today.

Sheldon: Oh, there's a woman. I'll make her my girlfriend.
Raj: Whoa, whoa. Walking up to a strange woman in a bar usually doesn't work.
Sheldon: You're forgetting something. Ladies love jocks.
Raj: How many sips of that beer did he have?
Leonard: Three.
Howard: Oh, boy.

Howard: But what room?
Bernadette: How 'bout this one?
Howard: No way. No, this is the room I associate the most with my mom.
Bernadette: Then how 'bout the bathroom?
Howard: I want to change my answer.

Howard: Look, uh I don't even think you can take this wall down 'cause it's load-bearing.
Raj: Well, it's easy to find out. Just go into the crawlspace under the house and check.
Howard: When is your visa up?

Raj: It's interesting your father didn't help around the house and Howard doesn't help, either, so in a way, Howard's not only like your father, but he's also like the child that you're afraid to have.
Howard: Why are you still here?
Raj: Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like somebody needs a fresh diaper.

Howard: So we don't even get to be up front where the action is?
Bernadette: What difference does it make?
Howard: I don't know. I was hoping some poor kid would come up to me and say, (affecting a high-pitched, British accent) "Please, sir, I want some more."
Raj: You're in a soup kitchen, not a production of Oliver!
Howard: It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.

Elon Musk: You think you might ever get back out to space?
Howard: Is that a job offer? 'Cause I really want to go to Mars. Assuming I can bring my wife. She hardly takes up any room. She's basically a carry-on.
Elon Musk: Well, we're not quite there yet, but we're always looking for engineers.
So let me give you my e-mail. We can stay in touch.

Raj: Maybe we should post a comment back to our fan and thank him.
Howard: What should we write?
Raj: Oh, how about, "We might be Footprints on the Moon, but your kind words sent us over the moon."
Howard: Someday you're gonna make an amazing grandma.