*Howard answers his front door*
Mark Hamill: Hi.
Howard: I'm gonna need a minute. [closes the door] That's Mark Hamill!

Raj: Well, what is it? What did you give them?
Leonard: Oh, i-it's just this dumb crystal wand that Howard and Bernadette gave us for our wedding. Penny and I made each other miserable trying to figure out what it was, and we thought, "Why not pass that fun along to Sheldon and Amy."
Raj: Wait a minute. Did-- did you give them the crystal chakra wand that I gave you for your wedding?
Howard: Yeah, that's exactly what we did.
Raj: You said you liked it!
Howard: Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

Howard: Oh. Look what Halley drew.
Bernadette: Yeah, she made it at daycare.
Howard: It's pretty good, huh?
Bernadette: Is it?
Howard: Wow. Gentile moms are tough.

Stuart: I'm picking her up in an hour. What am I gonna do?!
Howard: Don't you mean what are you gonna "Oompa Loompa doompety do"?

Bernadette: Look, it's only a spray tan. It'll fade in a couple days. Why don't you cancel the date and reschedule?
Stuart: Oh, but I was really looking forward to tonight.
Bernadette: You know what? Then go. Tell her what happened. Maybe she'll be flattered.
Howard: And if not, swing by the chocolate factory and see if they're hiring. That wasn't a joke. That was a legitimate suggestion.

Bernadette: No, with them in his room, doing stuff.
Howard: Oh, come on, we're sitting right out here. They're not gonna do anything.
["Smooth Operator" starts playing loudly in Stuart's room]
I'd like to change my answer.

Raj: Wait, wait, wait. If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard: Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj: Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard: Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Howard: Hello. [dressed like Sheldon, imitating him]
Sheldon: Hello.
Howard: I see you are dressed as Doc Brown from Back to the Future. May I assume that Amy is going as his wife, Clara Clayton, from Back to the Future Part III?
Sheldon: She is. Did you do something different to your hair?
Howard: Yes.
Sheldon: Looking good.

Howard: (imitating Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent) Well, Gorblimey. You look like a thousand tuppence. Don't he, Mary Poppins?
Bert: Are you gonna talk like that all night?
Howard: Jiff willikers, I am.
Bernadette: Isn't he cute? He's gonna get a spoonful of sugar later.
Howard: And I'm gonna sweep Ms. Poppins' chimney.

Howard: I'm gonna hook up the garden hose, so it has running water.
Amy: Why does it need running water?
Howard: Same reason it's got electricity: Bernadette and I both work, and we're overcompensating.

Leonard: Uh, hold on, I'm not just gonna hand out money. There's a procedure you need to follow.
Sheldon: I believe he's referring to the traditional "kissing of the buttocks."
Howard: Should we form a line, or just do it like we're bobbing for apples?

Raj: Hey, don't freak out, but I think there's someone in your playhouse.
Howard: Oh. Yeah, that's just Bernadette. She's been hiding out in there all week.
Raj: Really? Why?
Howard: I don't know. She's been a little overwhelmed at work. And, frankly, me and the kids are a lot. She just needs some downtime.
Raj: And you just pretend like you don't know?
Howard: Sure. That's how marriage works. Three years ago, I told her I got life insurance, and I totally didn't. (laughs) Someday, she's gonna find out. I'm gonna say, "Ha-ha! I know you've been hiding in the playhouse."
Raj: Why don't you just get the life insurance?
Howard: Whose side are you on?

[in the playhouse:]
Amy: Can you hear what they're saying?
Bernadette: Shh, I'm trying.
(cork pops)
[in the hot tub:]
Howard: Huh. Sounds like Penny's in there, too.

Bernadette: And my dad has grown to really like Howard.
Howard: Yeah, there's a nice coolness between us.