Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 59 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation

(Howard has just told Mary about his upcoming trip to the International Space Station.)
Mary Cooper: I bet your mom is really proud of you.
Howard: Nope. She says if I don't back out, she's gonna go on a hunger strike. It'd take years before she'd be in any kind of danger, but still.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz liquid-waste-disposal system is turning a few heads as well.
Ramona: Again, ew.

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard: I can't believe we're going all the way to San Diego to confront this guy.
Howard: Yeah, we're kind of badasses, aren't we?

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Penny: (Whispers) Here she comes.
Howard: Smart. Whisper so the deaf chick doesn't hear you!

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Howard: That was absolutely humiliating.
Leonard: Oh, come on, some battles you win, some battles you lose.
Howard: Yes, but you don't have to lose to Kyle Bernstein's bar mitzvah party.

Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst

Raj: I was so smooth on that date.
Howard: Dude, I made you smooth. You were an idiot.
Raj: Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
Howard: It might have been on your lips, but it was my kiss.
Raj: Oh, fine. Let's agree she kissed both of us.
Howard: Okay.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Howard: May I say Penny, not a lot of women could look as hot as you do with such greasy hair.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: (On computer screen) Hello, puny insects, as a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.
Leonard: Thanks a lot, Howard.
Howard: What are you complaining about? I'm the one who has to take the class again.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but-
Leonard: Don't tell her.
Sheldon: We're playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard: Aww!
Howard: What do you mean "Aww?" Like she didn't know we were nerds?

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Howard: (Answering phone) You've reached "Friends with Benefits", for a booty call, press 1 now.

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leonard: Leslie, this is Penny, she lives across the hall from Sheldon and me.
Howard: ... And walks in quiet beauty like the night.
Penny: Howard, I asked you not to do that.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Howard: Wait till you see this.
Raj: It's fantastic. Unbelievable!
Leonard: See what?
Howard: (Putting in DVD) It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974.
Leonard: This isn't a good time.
Howard: (Imitating Stephen Hawking) It's before he became a creepy computer voice.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Howard: 1. I lost my virginity to my cousin, Jeanie. 2. It was my Uncle Murray's funeral, we were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen. 3. To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Howard: (To Bernadette) A Catholic girl like you wearing a big cross like that might just give my mother the big brain aneurysm I've been hoping for.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

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