Howard: Not now, I have a blog to find.

Howard: Seven hundred and sixty degrees Celsius. The approximate temperature of the young lady in the front row.
Gablehauser: Mr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning.

Leonard: His mother was human, his father was Vulcan, they couldn't conceive.
Howard: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a room with a copy of "Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears"?

Penny: Wow! So in your world, you're like the cool guys.
Howard: Recognize!

Penny: Howard, would you like to explain to me why your Facebook page has a picture of me sleeping on your shoulder captioned: "Me and My Girlfriend"?
Howard: Uh oh, here comes "The Talk"!
*Penny tries to blow up Howard's head.*

Howard: I don't know, Sheldon, those topical conferences on Bowes-Einstein condensates parties are legendary.
Leonard: Forget the parties.
Howard: Forget the parties!? What a nerd!

Penny: She'll have sex with anyone as long as they keep buying her things.
Howard: Really?
Penny: Yeah!
Howard: Yay! If you'll excuse me, I have some bar mitzvah bonds to cash.

Howard: When they perfect human cloning, I'm gonna order 12 of those.

Howard: By the way, where did you get that loofah mitt? Yours reaches places that mine just won't.
Penny: You used my loofah?
Howard: More precisely, we used your loofah. I exfoliated her brains out!

Howard: See a Penny, pick her up, and all the day, you'll have good luck.
Penny: No, you won't.

Raj: What just happened?
Leonard: Beats the hell outta me!
Howard: I'll tell you what happened, I just learned how to pick up Indian Chicks.

Howard: It's a small, brown paper bag, ma, I'm looking at it right now. Why would I make that up? There's no Ding Dong in it. How are two Ding Dongs tomorrow gonna help me today?

Howard: I have got to learn how to draw.

Howard: Shucks means shucks. Let one go once in a while.

Howard: (Talking to his private parts) I'm doing this for you, Little Buddy. (Eats the Granola bar)