Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Howard: Nobody ever expects me. And bam! Howard Wolowitz.

Howard: Destiny thy name is Anaheim!

Howard: Hey, look at me I'm a fancy Indian man! We invented pajamas! (About what Raj said to Sheldon's sister.)

Raj: (Strangling Howard) I am Shiva the Destroyer, I will have the woman.
Howard: I'm warning you, I took Judo at math camp.

Leonard: Come on, guys, push!
Howard: If I push any harder I'm gonna give birth to my colon.

Penny: It is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts.

Sheldon: I don't know what you were worried about. I think it really works in the room.
Leonard: Yeah. It is by far the coolest thing I have ever owned.
Sheldon: The exact time machine that carried actor Rod Taylor from Victorian England into the post-apocalyptic future, which society had splintered into two factions: the sub-terranean Morlocks, who survived by feasting on the flesh of the gentle surface dwelling Eloy.
Howard: Talk about your chick magnets.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, I know we said we'd take turns, but I think youd agree that practicality dictates it remain here.
Howard: You can't just keep it here. What if I meet a girl and say, "you wanna come up and see my time machine, it's at my friends house," how lame is that?

Sheldon: I'll go for two hundred, that time machine stays right where it is.
Raj: Three hundred, and I'll throw in my original 1979 Mattel Millenium Falcon with real light speed sound effects.
Leonard: No, no more toys or action figures or props or replicas or costumes or robots or Darth Vader voice changers, I'm getting rid of all of it.
Howard: You can't do that. Look what you've created here, it's like nerdvana.

Wolowitz: That's more like we're a tall thin woman who wants to make a coat out of your Dalmatians.

Leonard: His mother was human, his father was Vulcan, they couldn't conceive.
Howard: Maybe they had to go to a clinic. Can you imagine Spock's dad in a room with a copy of "Pointy Ears and Shapely Rears"?

Penny: Wow! So in your world, you're like the cool guys.
Howard: Recognize!

Howard: Seven hundred and sixty degrees Celsius. The approximate temperature of the young lady in the front row.
Gablehauser: Mr. Wolowitz, this is your second warning.