President Siebert: Ah. There's my band of brainiacs. Where's Dr. Cooper?
Leonard: He's tearing the mask off nature to look at the face of God.

Leonard: Hang on. Are you feeling insecure? Because that's my thing, and if you take it away, I don't know what I'm bringing to this relationship.

Leonard: My mother's texting you?
Penny: Yeah. We've been talking a lot lately.
Leonard: Why? She sick of talking to the magic mirror on the wall?

Raj: Here you go. I've got everything well need for the big game. Low fat turkey jerky, low-carb beer, 100-calorie snack packs.
Leonard: You pick up a Y chromosome while you were there? You might be short one.

Penny: Now, why don't you go wash up, and we'll call you when dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Okay. (Sheldon leaves)
Leonard: (surprised) What did you do? Are you a witch?

Leonard: That's amazing.
Penny: I know. But, you know, it's only birth to five. What do we do when he turns six?
Leonard: Take him to the zoo and leave him there.

Sheldon: Can I at least kick down the door?
Leonard: You're welcome to try, but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.

Sheldon: You give me enough time, I can do the same thing with a wedding date. It needs to be on the weekend, uh, not near any of your birthdays, or the weekend of Comic Con.
Leonard: Ooh, you could get married at Comic Con.
Amy, Penny and Bernadette: No!

Amy: So, it's strange, Sheldon was talking in his sleep last night, and he seemed like a totally different person. He was relaxed and loose and calm.
Leonard: Well, Sheldon's a complicated man.
Amy: He said "whatev."
Leonard: Give him a brain scan, that might be a tumor.

Leonard: Penny doesn't know how manipulative my mother can be. Did you know there's such a thing as reverse, reverse, reverse psychology? Because there is.

Leonard: Great. Did we say a time?
Penny: Six thirty.
Leonard: And that's still good for you?
Penny: It's fine.
Leonard: Cos it's not carved in stone.
Penny: No, six thirtys great.
Leonard: I'll get my chisel.
Penny: Why?
Leonard: To ... carve the ... okay, I'll see you six thirty.

Sheldon: All right, you ready for your next one? Just a warning, this one's a little annoying. (imitates a high-pitched siren)
Leonard: Let's take a little little break, I'm getting a headache.
Sheldon: Aw, right in the middle of our fun game.
Leonard: Yeah, weird.

Sheldon: Ugh.
Leonard: You okay?
Sheldon: No. No, all these comments online about Wil, they're nothing but supportive and kind. Where's the mean, snarky Internet that shows up every time I get a haircut?
Leonard: You know that's us, right?

Leonard: What about tiresome lunatic with a bad haircut? Has he called yet?

Raj: I'll buy some Bitcoin. I just came into a little extra money when my dad raised my allowance.
Sheldon: You don't have to buy Bitcoin. You can mine it.
Leonard: Mine it? Like, mining gold?
Sheldon: Sort of. There's a limited amount, and we find it not by tunneling into the earth, but by using a computer to solve complex mathematical problems.
Howard: So let me get this straight. We have to write an elaborate program in order to find a fake coin that we can't spend on anything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That sounds fun.
Raj: Yeah, I'm in.
Leonard: Staying up late, writing code, it sounds like a party.