Penny: How come you never eat broccoli?
Leonard: I'm married, I don't have to be attractive.

Penny: Do boys have flowers?
Leonard: Who knows what he has down there.

Penny: Oh, it's Bernadette. She says they're running late. "The baby threw up on Howard, and then Howard threw up on Howard."
Leonard: Well, he didn't throw up on the baby. That's a win.

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

Leonard: What's going on with your brother?
Penny: My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
Leonard: Huh. Is that a good idea? I mean, you think they'll consider someone who was in prison for selling drugs?
Penny: Well, I sell pharmaceuticals. That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
Leonard: Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.

Penny: Well, let's just get them apart for a while so they can cool down.
Leonard: Good. Then before we reintroduce them, we'll give him one of her sweaters so he can get used to her scent again.
Penny: So it's okay for you to joke around?
Leonard: No, that's actually what we did with him when Howard came back from space.

Amy: I'm in this relationship, too. I need to stand up for myself.
Leonard: Of course you do.
Amy: And if he doesn't like it, he can move back here.
Leonard: Oh, he can try. He'd just need a good locksmith.

Penny: Could you two really have some sort of super-intelligent child?
Amy: Well, there is a genetic component, but that doesn't guarantee anything.
Leonard: That's true. Sheldon's father once picked a fight with a cactus.
Penny: Yeah, but that's just his Earth parents. We don't know anything about the ones that sent him here.
Leonard: Well, we know they were smart enough to send him away.

Leonard: You know what? There is one thing I would like.
Sheldon: Yeah, take whatever you want.
Leonard: I would like to keep the official flag of our apartment.
Sheldon: But you don't even like flags.
Leonard: Yeah, I like this one.
Sheldon: But I designed it.
Leonard: But you made me order it because you were "too well-known" in the flag community and they'd jack up the price.
Sheldon: But you don't even understand its symbolism.
Leonard: Oh, I do. The-the field of blue represents you being miserable, and the lion sticking its tongue out means I'm happy about it.

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.

Leonard: I got it.
Howard: You really figured it out?
Leonard: No, but when we show this nonsense to Sheldon, it will make him crazy, and he'll have to fix it.
Howard: Oh, you're a genius.
Leonard: Yeah, I know. That's not even a math symbol. That's just Charlie Brown's hair.

Leonard: Okay, so this is the main Comic-Con floor. It's where all the vendors and exhibits are.
Penny: Wow, that is a lot of people jammed in there.
Leonard: I know. Sometimes Howard wears a striped shirt so we can play "Where's Wolowitz?"

Leonard: How is super-aging any different than, like, doing crossword puzzles?
Sheldon: Well, it's not just doing simple cognitive tasks. You need to push your brain out of its comfort zone and reach mental exhaustion.
Leonard: I drive you to work every day, my brain must look like the Hulk.

Penny: See, that wasn't so bad. He even picked up the check.
Leonard: Yeah. Although, when he was trying to figure out the tip, I'm pretty sure I saw smoke coming out of his ears.

Penny: All right, this is making me crazy. Somebody's got to go over there.
Leonard: You got feet and legs, you do it.