Sheldon: Boy, if there's one thing that gets my goat, it's those dadgum insurance companies.
Leonard: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?

Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands.
Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.

Sheldon: It's like when I thought there was possum in my closet. Did I sit around wondering? No, I sent Leonard in with a pointy stick and a bag.
Leonard: I killed his chewbacca slippers.

Amy: After a lively debate, that motion passed by a 2-0 margin.
Leonard: It's nice to see a busy couple keep the spark of bureaucracy alive.

Sheldon: Apparently I have a reputation for being "obnoxious".
Leonard: Whaaaaaat?

Penny: So you want me to be a teacher's pet?
Bernadette: Couldn't hurt.
Leonard: I don't know. Who here has ever been hurt because they were the teacher's pet?
*Sheldon, Amy, Howard, Leonard and Raj raise their hands*

Leonard: A butterfly could have gotten himself home from Arizona.

Sheldon: Of course it's not a big deal to you. You idolize me and nothing could knock me off that pedestal you put me on.
Leonard: It's true. You are a God to me.

Leonard: If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train, by yourself, across the country, do you know what they would have said?
Sheldon: That I couldn't do it?
Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said 'yeah!'

Penny: Hi, wanna do yoga with me?
Leonard: Let me just have some coffee first and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.

Leonard: You know he can't take a trip like this by himself.
Penny: He's a grown man.
Leonard: No, he looks like a grown man. You've seen Freaky Friday, sometimes little kids end up in big person bodies.

Leonard: Sheldon, I'm going to miss you.
Sheldon: Of course you are.
Leonard: You just made that easier.

Leonard: I'm gonna see where he is.
Penny: How?
Leonard: I know his password so I can track his phone.
Penny: You do that?
Leonard: Not always. But ever since he wandered off at the swap meet chasing a balloon, I get worried.

Leonard: It's dark out and he's alone. I don't like it. Let's go get him.
Penny: It's sweet how you look out for him. You're a good guy.
Leonard: It's not just that. My mother would kill me if I let something happen to him.

Penny: This is so sweet. You never cook for me.
Leonard: Well, you cook for me all the time and eugh.
Penny: If you don't like my cooking, why haven't you ever said anything?
Leonard: Well, it's hard to talk with so much heavy chewing to do.