Raj: Before I forget, I'd like your opinion on the menus I've prepared for the Halloween party. The theme is "Food That Goes Bump in the Night".
Howard: "Creature from the Black Forest Ham Lagoon".
Raj: On sesame seed bunzillas.
Sheldon: "Night of the Living Garlic Bread"?
Raj: It's funny because bread sounds like dead.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, but these are just ordinary foods with the names bent into tortured puns. The dishes themselves are in no way Halloweeny.
Raj: Ooh, Hallo-weenies! That's a good one. They'll pair nicely with my "Draculoni and Cheese". How do I do it?

Raj: Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bull-whip and fedora?
Howard: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Raj: I was thinking of dressing up as Indiana Jones' mocha-skinned love child, Indian Jones.

Howard: Wow, so you guys are like buds now?
Raj: Oh, yeah, we hang out all the time.
Stuart: Plus, he doesn't have a girlfriend, I don't have a girlfriend.
Raj: It's like we both had these holes in our lives, but now we fill each other's holes.
Stuart: That sounds a little funny to an American ear.
Raj: Which part?
Stuart: Just all of it.

Leonard: You talk to Howard lately?
Raj: Uh, yeah, last night. He kept making me drop pencils for him. I got uncomfortable.

Raj: So, what are you guys doing later? Stuart and I were thinking of going out for a drink.
Stuart: We're gonna try to meet some girls.
Raj: 'cause that's what we do.
Stuart: Watch out, ladies, a little coffee and cream coming your way.
Raj: In case you didn't follow that, I'm the coffee.

Raj: You know, I'm growing to like American football.
Penny: Yeah, it's fun, isn't it?
Raj: Well, it's not the balls-to-the-wall action of badminton or cricket, but hey, what is?

Stuart: So, Howard's really in space, huh?
Leonard: Mmm-hmm. International Space Station. 250 miles that way.
Raj: Right now, Howard's staring down at our planet like a tiny Jewish Greek god. Zeusowitz.

Amy: Sheldon, this place is so romantic.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm glad you like it. Raj picked it out.
Amy: Well, when you see him, tell him I say thank you.
Sheldon: Tell him yourself.
Raj: Yoo-hoo! Over here!

Raj: Oh, I'm having the nicest time. You guys are like family to me. You know that, right?
Leonard: That's great. Get out.
Raj: What? Why?
Leonard: Penny and I have some issues we need to talk about.
Raj: Oh, pish on your issues. You guys are fine.

Raj: Yes, you hit some bumps along the way. I mean, Penny, you've always known how this man has felt about you, but you made him grovel for affection.
Penny: Okay, hold on...
Raj: Now, dont blame yourself. He was a groveler from way back. But the point is, the two of you got past it. And, Leonard, you go and propose to this poor girl in the middle of sex? That was some weak tea, dude.
Leonard: Some people might say it was romantic.
Raj: Yeah, no. But yet, here you two are, still together. And that's even after you and I had our crazy naked night.

Raj: I'm just saying that after everything you've been through, you get to look into each other's eyes and say "I love you." And that's beautiful.
Leonard: Actually, to this day, she's never really said it.
Raj: Oh, Penny. That's ridiculous. You know you love him. You, you look him in the eyes and you say it.
Penny: Raj.
Raj: Oh come on, you know you want to say it. Say it. Say you love him. Say it!

Stuart: A little music?
Raj: Sure. Mmm, bossa nova. You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears.
Stuart: Mmm.
Raj: Oh. Something about Latin music just makes me feel like I'm on a white sand beach in Rio.
Stuart: Yeah. The sun, the waves, the beautiful bodies, tanned and glistening with sweat.
Raj: I should go.

Leonard: There's Howard's rocket, live from Kazakhstan.
Bernadette: Oh, God, I'm so nervous. I don't think I can watch.
Raj: Youre nervous? I've been stress-eating for four days. Look at me. I'm wearing my fat pants.

Leonard: Where'd you get a beer?
Raj: From that happy young couple over there with all the tattoos. Beautiful story. They're in rival drug gangs, and they're getting married. Shh, no one can know.

Raj: I keep telling you, if I wasn't an astrophysicist, I would have been a party planner. It was always a coin flip.