Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 176 of 262
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Sheldon: I see no large upcoming expenditures unless they develop an affordable technology to fuse my skeleton with admantium like Wolverine.
Penny: Are they working on that?
Sheldon: I sincerely hope so.
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Penny: I'll pay you back as soon as I can.
Sheldon: Of course you will. It's impossible to pay me back sooner than you can. Assuming you subscribe to a linear understanding of time and causality.
Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential
Leonard: See, Howard's just as good a dungeon master as I am.
Sheldon: As good? You just got pantsed in the schoolyard, four eyes.
Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential
Sheldon: I've never knocked on my own door before. That was a wild ride.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Sheldon: Please let me know when you and your girlfriend are done hogging the bandwidth for your self-abuse. I'm trying to stream a movie on Netflix in here.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Leonard: You know, some people might say that it's great that we're trying to make things work long distance. They'd say things like, love is stronger than the miles between you.
Sheldon: When I rise to power, those people will be sterilized.
Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis
Sheldon: I miss the days when your romantic partners could be returned to the video store.
Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex
Raj: They get girlfriends and they just abandon us?
Sheldon: It is great, isn't it? We have a wonderful evening ahead of us.
Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex
Raj: Come on, Sheldon, the world is filled with people doing things outside. Let's go outside. Outside is good.
Sheldon: If outside is so good, why has mankind spent thousands of years trying to perfect inside?
Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex
Sheldon: I would like a root beer float.
Raj: Sheldon, they don't have ice cream.
Sheldon: They don't? Well, apparently these people and I differ greatly on the definition of party.
Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex
Raj: He'll have a Shirley Temple.
Sheldon: And don't be chintzy with the Shirley.
Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition
Sheldon: I've decided that I'm going to have Mr. Lee sign my copy of this month's Batman.
Howard: That's crazy. Stan Lee had nothing to do with Batman.
Sheldon: Yes, which is why no one else will ask him to sign one, and I will be the possessor of a unique, albeit confusing, artefact, which will set me apart from the hoi polloi of comic book fandom
Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition
Howard: Sheldon, why do you have all these unopened paychecks in your desk?
Sheldon: Because most of the things I'm planning to buy haven't been invented yet.
Howard: But there must be thousands of dollars here. Why don't you put it in the bank?
Sheldon: I don't trust banks. I believe that when the robots rise up, ATMs will lead the charge.
Quote from the episode The Pulled Groin Extrapolation
Amy: I need someone to accompany me to the wedding of Dr. Moranelli and Dr. Gustafson this Friday. They're kind of the Brad and Angelina of the primatology department.
Leonard: Wouldn't you rather bring Sheldon?
Amy: I would, but the last wedding we went to was a disaster. He behaved like a child the entire time.
Sheldon: Not my fault. You said there'd be other scientists there my age.
Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation
Sheldon: Try to put yourself in my place. Imagine you're the sole human being living on a planet populated with nothing but dogs. And then it turns out there's another human being.
Howard: Hang on, are you saying the rest of us are dogs?
Sheldon: Okay. I can see you're going to take this the wrong way. Let me try again. Imagine you're the sole human being on a planet populated with nothing but chimps.
Howard: Get out of my lab.
Sheldon: Oh, now they're much smarter than dogs. Have you seen them on those bicycles?
Howard: Get out.
Sheldon: How about dolphins?
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