Kripke: I'm Barry Kripke and I'm here because you told me there was a raffle. Where is the raffle?
Sheldon: Patience, patience, Barry, the waffle-- ahem. The raffle... is the grand finale to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.
Kripke: One more question--
Sheldon: Yes, you must be present to win.

Sheldon: We had a good run, you and I.

Howard: What's this? (hand movement)
Sheldon:That's what you did. I assumed, as in a number of languages, that the gesture was part of the phrase.
Howard: Well, it's not.
Sheldon: Why am I supposed to know that? As the teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter.

Sheldon: Penny, if I'm going to get Leonard a gift, I'm going to do it right. I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.
Penny: I know I'm gonna regret this, but what trauma?
Sheldon: On my 12th birthday, I really wanted a titanium centrifuge so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.
Penny: Of course, yeah.
Sheldon: Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me-- Wow, this is hard. They got me a motorized dirt bike.
Penny: No!
Sheldon: What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
Penny: All of them.

Sheldon: Leonard, it's two in the morning.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So, it's my turn.

Sheldon: I do feel obligated to point out to you that she did not reject you, you did not ask her out.
Leonard: You're right. I didn't ask her out. I should ask her out.
Sheldon: No! No that was not my point. My point was don't buy a cat.
Leonard: No, but you're right, I should march over there and ask her out.
Sheldon: Oh, goody! We're getting a cat.

Sheldon: Frankly, Mom, I'm encouraged to see how advanced your group has become -- willing to sail into the ocean without fear of falling off the edge.

Sheldon: You can lead a chicken to crisco, but you can't make your mother fry it.

Sheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that's moot now.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: (Entering bathroom) I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency!
Leonard: What kind of an emergency?
Sheldon: Mathematical. 32 ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce bladder.

Howard: Why did you bring that?
Sheldon: No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.

Sheldon: You just got off the list, would you like back on it?

Leonard: It turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time. Although, truth be told, my groin is a little worse for wear.
*Sheldon karate chops Leonard*
Leonard: Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: She is not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!

Penny: So, how was paint ball? Did you have fun?
Sheldon: If you consider being fragged by your own troops fun. (To Howard) You clear a space on your calendar. There will be an inquiry.

Sheldon: If your video's frozen try re-setting the TCP/IP stack.

Sheldon: We were annihilated by our own incompetence and the inability of some people to follow the chain of command.
Leonard: Sheldon, let it go.
Sheldon: No, I wanna talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back.
Howard: I shot you for a good reason. You were leading us into disaster.
Sheldon: I was giving clear, concise orders.
Leonard: You hid behind a tree yelling, "Get the kid in the yarmulke! Get the kid in the yarmulke!"