Sheldon: I'm not saying that all senior citizens that can't master technology should be publicly flogged. But, if we made an example of one or two it might give the others incentive to try harder.

Leonard: I had a great idea. Do you know how we're always having to stop and solve differential equations, like when you're doing Fourier equations or using the Schroedinger equation?
Sheldon: Howard doesn't, he's only an engineer.

Zack: You're inferring I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's not correct. We implied you're stupid, you then inferred it.

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.

Leonard: That was fast.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, the middle stall was occupied. I'll have to try again later.
Sheldon: That's totally understandable. In bladder voiding, as in real estate, it's location, location, location.

Sheldon: I'd like to go over some proposed changes to the roommate agreement, specifically to address Penny's annoying personal habits.
Penny: Oh my God! What personal habits?
Sheldon: I have a list. FYI overuse of the phrase "Oh my God" is number 12.

Sheldon: Amy Farrah Fowler doesn't believe in wearing costumes. She's not the free spirit I am.

Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up. What about environmental factors. Describe the scene for me?
Amy: I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette drinking water. Carbonated as it was a special occasion. Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said 'hello' and I said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: Then why did you ask?
Amy: Ask what?
Sheldon: Who?
Amy: Zack.
Sheldon: All right, lets start over. What did you say when Zack walked in?
Amy: 'Whoo'.
Sheldon: Zack.
Amy: Why do you keep saying Zack?
Sheldon: Because you keep saying who?
Amy: I'm not saying 'whoo' now, I said 'whoo' last night.
Sheldon: And the answer is Zack, correct?
Amy: There was no question, I simply said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: All right I think I have enough to go on.

Sheldon: It's a shame our society mocks the differently uvulated.

Penny: OK Sheldon, what can I get ya?
Sheldon: Alcohol.
Penny: Could you be a little more specific?
Sheldon: Ethyl alcohol, 40 millilitres.

Sheldon: I'm not Sheldon. I'm the Flash. And now I'm going to the Grand Canyon to scream in frustration. *takes two quick steps* I'm back.

Sheldon: Trouble is my middle name Leonard. Actually it's Lee but I prefer Trouble.
Wil Wheaton: Oh, look who they let in.
Sheldon: Don't worry Wil Wheaton, I was just leaving. *Holds up the movie can and runs off*

Sheldon: Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.

Zack: You know, I saw this great thing on the Discovery Channel. Turns out if you kill a starfish it'll just come back to life.
Sheldon: Was the starfish wearing boxer shorts? Because you might have been watching Nickelodeon.

Sheldon: Don't worry. Wonder Woman was an Amazon. And Amazons tend to be very beefy gals.