Sheldon: Look, you may have democracy in your beloved Russia, but on this physics bowl team, I rule with an iron fist. (Raising his fist) Ow!

Penny: Leonard might be home, can we talk in my apartment?
Sheldon: We're not done?
Penny: No!
Sheldon: Eh, why not? We're already through the looking glass anyway.

Sheldon: Like the proverbial cheese, I stand alone. Even while seated.

Sheldon: You know, I've been thinking about time travel again.
Leonard: Why, did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?
Sheldon: Put it on the back burner.

Sheldon: "Gerry the Gerbil and the bully boys on the bus." Read it, not helpful.

Sheldon: All these years I've been so wrong. The tinier the trains, the more concentrated the fun.

Sheldon: Sadly Penny, this evening I am the dark knight roaming these mean streets alone. A windbreaker for my cape and a stern expression for my cowl.

Sheldon: Oh, a scroll. I like scrolls. They're my third favourite system of transmitting the written word, after stone tablets and sky-writing.
You have all been summoned to join a thrilling Dungeons and Dragons adventure. Your quest begins in a secret northern village of elves who have all been massacred. I like where this is heading. Your task is to rescue their leader from a dungeon of ogres. Oh, that's a saucy twist. That leader's name: Santa Claus.
No, no, no!
Leonard: Its actually ho, ho, ho, but you'll get the hang of it.

Sheldon: It did not kill me when you went to space. Monkeys went to space.

Amy: Sheldon, all Snow White needs is one small kiss to wake up.
Sheldon: Heard you the first time.

Sheldon: And to think I idolized that man. And why? At the end of the day, he's just another Hollywood phoney.
Amy: Is it really worth getting upset about?
Sheldon: They say don't meet your heroes. Don't peek behind that curtain of fame and celebrity. Because if you do, you'll see them as they really are: degenerate carnival folk.

James Earl Jones: Ah, Sheldon. This is the perfect end to a perfect night.
Sheldon: Okay. But I think it could have ended at the karaoke.

Raj: So I did a little research on what the conditions are like in the mines, and the guys might be right. It sounds pretty rough down there. For starters, it's very humid and about a hundred degrees.
Sheldon: I'm from Texas and you're from India. We're no strangers to the fragrant arm pit. Next.
Raj: It's also a live mine, so there'll be dynamite explosions going off in the distance.
Sheldon: I have a lactose-intolerant roommate with a taste for ice cream. Next.
Raj: You have to be down there for twelve hours at a time.
Sheldon: Have to be somewhere.
Raj: There's no toilet, so we'll have to do our business in a bucket.
Sheldon: So it's settled? We're not doing it.

Amy: After only 232 episodes.
Sheldon: 233 if we include the one somebody forgot to press record on.
Amy: You said you weren't going to bring that up.
Sheldon: And you said you pressed record.

Leonard: Is your tongue blue?
Sheldon: I don't want to talk about it.