Bernadette: Okay, sweetie, Mommy's gonna go to work now, so you have fun today.
Howard: I told her if day care is anything like prison, find the biggest baby and knock him out.

Stuart: Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you. (voice breaking) I'm gonna be waiting right here tonight when you get home.
Bernadette: Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
Howard: (voice breaking) Great, now everybody's crying.
Stuart: At least Halley's not.
Howard: That's good.
Bernadette: She's not gonna see us all day, and she doesn't even care!

Stuart: Is it weird if we just stand here and watch her all day?
Howard: Probably.
Stuart: We should go.
Howard: Yeah.
Stuart: Or we could take her to the aquarium.
Howard: I'll get her, you grab her bag.
Stuart: Hang on, Halley, we're busting you out of there!

Bert: I made a huge mistake.
Raj: No, you didn't. Okay? Look, Bert, when I had money, I dated lots of girls who weren't right for me. And then I gave up my money, and now I'm alone, and living with my friends, and somebody else should probably talk now.

Stuart: Guess who's home from day care?
Howard: It's Halley. Unless somebody else put an "X" on the bottom of their kid's foot.
Bernadette: You realize they called when you took her.
Howard: (singsongy) Guess who's home from the aquarium?

Raj: I feel bad for Bert.
Sheldon: So he's using his money to attract a mate. Is that any different than me using my intelligence to attract Amy? Or Leonard using his power of groveling to get Penny?
Leonard: It's totally different. Bert's money might run out, but I can beg until the end of time.
Penny: All that, and he's shorter than me.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Amy: And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
Sheldon: Based on the glowing reception of our recent Behind the Flags retrospective, we thought you might like to see how it all came together.
Amy: So welcome to tonight's episode,
Both: Fun with Flags - Behind the "Behind the Flags: A Retrospective" Retrospective.

Bert: Everyone, this is Rebecca.
Rebecca: Hi.
Everybody: Hey.
Sheldon: She's younger and far more attractive than he is. They're copying you two!

Howard: Look, if you're not ready to go back to work, we'll figure something out.
Bernadette: No, I'll be fine.
Stuart: It might be good for her. Howard's mother was around him all the time, and he's a world-class mama's boy.
Howard: (scoffs) I mean, wh-why would you say that?
Stuart: Go ahead, have a tantrum; that'll prove me wrong.

Sheldon: Mind you, when we say "behind the flags", we don't literally mean these flags. That's just where we have dinner.

Bert: Hey, Sheldon. Hey, Amy. It's Bert.
Sheldon: Hello, Bert. What is your flag-related comment or query?
Bert: I have a girlfriend.
Amy: And what does that have to do with flags?
Bert: Nothing. I just wanted everyone to know I have a girlfriend.

Sheldon: Bert, you're tying up the line. My apologies to all of you trying to call in with legitimate flag comments.

Bert: Hey, guys.
Sheldon: Oh, hello.
Leonard: Hey. Want to join us?
Sheldon: But he's a geologist, and I have more physics jokes.
Raj: Oh, quick! Sit!

Sheldon: Bert, Rebecca. I'd like to apologize for my insensitive comment earlier.
Rebecca: Don't worry about it. It's fine.
Sheldon: See? It was fine. I didn't need a time-out.
Amy: It wasn't a time-out. Let's get some food.
Sheldon: You made me sit on the stairs and think about what I did.
Amy: Get your food!

Rebecca: I could give you some free sessions.
Penny: Oh, is that offer for everybody?
Leonard: (chuckles) Nice try. I'm not going.