Sheldon: So tell us in your own words about that magical moment when Fun with Flags was born.
Leonard: I honestly don't remember.
Sheldon: Sure you do. I was telling you both the story about how Haiti and Lichtenstein discovered they had the same flag. It was at the Summer Olympics of 1936, and two plucky nations-
Penny: Oh, wait. I remember.
Sheldon: Oh, and do you remember what you said?
Penny: Yes. "Please find someone who cares."
*cut back to Sheldon and Amy in the "studio"*
Sheldon: And that's exactly what I did. I found a lot of someones.
Amy: Almost 200. Many of them on purpose.

Raj: I haven't had much success meeting people online.
Bert: I didn't either, until I revamped my profile.
Sheldon: What'd you do, delete your photo?
Amy: Go.
Sheldon: Fine.
Amy: And don't you slam that door.
Sheldon: Aw, man.

Amy: I'm sorry, Bert, but aren't you worried she's only with you for your money?
Bert: She better be. On our first date, I bought her an 80-inch flat-screen.
Sheldon: Your first date? Did you even measure her walls?

Raj: Hey, sorry if last night was awkward.
Bert: Actually, it got me thinking that I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love. I might break up with Rebecca.
Leonard: Wow, that's a big step.
Raj: I think it shows a lot of character.
Bert: I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find a hot young blonde who likes me for me.
Sheldon: (laughs) That's a good one. Okay, now, Leonard, you tell a joke.

Bernadette: What if she likes the people who work there more than us?
Howard: She already likes soap bubbles more than us.

Penny: So is this your first time dating a scientist? 'Cause I'm thinking of starting a support group.
Rebecca: Actually, I'm not new to this. I was engaged to a Scientologist.

Bert: She was also interested in walking around my house in her underwear. Now the only one that does that is me.

Bernadette: When I go back to work, we're gonna leave her with these people. We don't know anything about them.
Howard: They're highly-trained educators with background checks. They're even required to be current on all vaccinations.
Stuart: You leave her with me, and I'm not any of those things.

Leonard: So, Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend.
Sheldon: Yeah, which he rudely announced on my flag show. People were so upset about it no one else called in the rest of the night.

Leonard: Hey, we're all having dinner tonight. Why don't the two of you join us?
Sheldon: Uh, wa-- Hold on. We don't know anything about this woman.
Bert: What do you want to know?
Sheldon: Is she a geologist?
Bert: No.
Sheldon: Oh, great. See you at 7:00.

Bernadette: It's not just the sloth. Polar bears nurse their cubs for almost eight months. The orangutan mother builds her baby a new home every night. And what do I do? I choose my career over my child!
Stuart: (To Howard) Told you we should have gone to Legoland.

Leonard: Don't you have any friends he can date?
Penny: Hey, I already set up Howard and Bernadette. It's your turn to ruin some poor girl's life.

Bernadette: It would be nice to raise Halley to be a little more independent than you were.
Howard: I guess. It wasn't until college that I learned you can put a thermometer in your mouth.
Stuart: On that charming note, dinner is served.

Raj: So how did you two meet?
Rebecca: Oh, it's such a cute story! We met on a dating Web site.
(silence)
Leonard: Is that it?
Rebecca: Oh, sorry. The end.

Leonard: So, Rebecca, how did you become a personal trainer?
Rebecca: I came to Los Angeles to be an actress, and things didn't really work out.
Sheldon: I'd say she's copying you again, but I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.