Anu: Go away, Raj! What are you doing?
Raj: I'm winning you back Love Actually style.
Anu: I don't know what that means.
Raj: Really? You've never seen Love Actually? If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.

Raj: Look, we both made mistakes. I am so sorry that I spied on you. I didn't mean to, but I know it was not okay. Now, do you want to apologize to me?
Anu: You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me.
Raj: I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing.

Anu: Honestly, Raj, why do you even want to marry me?
Raj: You know, family and India and stuff.
Anu: Here's what I think. All of your friends are married, and you don't want to be left behind. And honestly, that's not a good enough reason.
Raj: Uh, okay, well, how is that different than what you're doing? Hmm? Worried that you wasted so many years dating the wrong people, and now, you're just looking for a shortcut.
Anu: You're right. It's not different.
Raj: Okay, so we agree.
Anu: Yeah.
Raj: Great. Wait. What did we just agree on?
Anu: That we shouldn't see each other anymore.
Raj: You know what? Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?

Leonard: Uh, do you remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack?
Sheldon: Leonard, I remember all of Penny's ex-boyfriends. If you'd like, I could list them alphabetically.
Leonard: No, thank you.
Sheldon: Fun fact. You would think Zack would be the last one on the list, but she also dated two Zekes.

Raj: I make one mistake, and she says she doesn't want to marry me. Like she never screwed up.
Bernadette: Did she?
Raj: Well, she agreed to marry me.

Howard: Honestly, I think you dodged a bullet. I don't think she was right for you.
Bernadette: Howie, shh.
Howard: What?
Bernadette: You can't bad-mouth Anu. They're gonna get back together, and you're gonna look like a jerk. I mean, remember when we broke up, and Penny said all those mean things about you?
Howard: What did she say?
Bernadette: I don't want to get into it. Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.

Howard: So I'm just supposed to lie to my friend?
Raj: I don't want you to lie to me.
Bernadette: No one's gonna lie to you. (whispers to Howard) Lie.

Raj: She says the only reason I'm marrying her is because all my friends are married, and I don't want to feel left out.
Howard: Oh, that's nonsense.
Raj: No. She's right.
Howard: (quietly to Bernadette) Now what do I say?

Penny: So, Marissa, how did you guys meet?
Marissa: Oh, it's a pretty funny story. We met in a bookstore.
Leonard: That is funny.
Zack: Yeah, I was just there using the bathroom, but this one had a stack of books, like, this tall.
Penny: Oh. So, you really like to read?
Marissa: Oh, no. I work there.
Zack: Yeah, she is super smart. Seriously, you name, like, any book, she'll tell you if she's heard of it. Go on, try her.
Leonard: Oh, uh, well, uh Catcher in the Rye.
Marissa: Nope.
Zack: Look at that, Penny. I guess we both like nerds.

Leonard: Are you jealous?
Penny: I know, I know, I shouldn't be. He's super sweet. I should be happy for them.
Leonard: Oh, it's driving me crazy, too.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Yes. I was trying to pretend like it wasn't so you wouldn't think I was petty.
Penny: Wha-- turns out we're both petty.
Leonard: I love you so much.
Penny: Aw.

Marissa: And Zack's always admired you because you're the smartest person he knows.
Penny: Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa. You know, this has been such a nice evening. Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things.
Zack: Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?
Penny: Aw, you said a thing.

Leonard: Wow, this is really flattering.
Penny: And also really weird, right?
Zack: Oh, just to be clear, you don't get to you know.
Leonard: No, I - I got it.
Zack: Just because I slept with your wife doesn't mean you get to sleep with mine.
Penny: We we get it, but thank you for saying it out loud.
Zack: You're welcome.

Marissa: I know it's a big ask, but it would mean so much to us.
Zack: Yeah, and we really don't want a stranger's, you know-
Leonard: I know.
Zack: -sperm.

Marissa: And Zack's always talked about what a great guy Leonard is.
Leonard: I (chuckles) I really don't know what to say.
Penny: Really? You don't know what to say?

Dr. Koothrappali: Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee?
Raj: What?! No!
Dr. Koothrappali: That's what her parents told me when they said they were calling off the wedding. But I told them you would never do such a thing.
Raj: Thank you. I mean, I did install a camera and I did spy on her, but I did not install it to spy on her.