Dr. Koothrappali: Well, that's not going to be our story. Our story is that she's a liar. And-and old. An old, dirty liar.
Raj: Oh, no. She's-she's actually great. I'm the one who screwed up.
Dr. Koothrappali: Well, don't say that to them. She's bad. You're good. They have to pay me back for my wedding deposits.
Raj: (sighs) This is all my fault. I should have I should have just trusted her.
Dr. Koothrappali: So you're saying you still want to get married? Fine. Then I'll call her parents and we'll straighten this whole thing out.
Raj: I don't think she wants to marry me. And honestly she deserves someone better.
Dr. Koothrappali: Rajesh, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're a good man.
Raj: Wow. Y-You've never told me that.
Dr. Koothrappali: You're also a dope.
Raj: That you've said.
Dr. Koothrappali: But your heart's in the right place, and you deserve happiness.
So you just need to figure out what you want, and if that means cancelling the wedding, we cancel the wedding.
Raj: Thank you.
Dr. Koothrappali: But figure it out quickly, or I'll be celebrating my next birthday with a lot more elephants and marigolds than I expected.

Penny: Really? So you'd be okay if someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor?
Amy: Oh, absolutely not. I am the only handmaid in this tale.

Bernadette: So Leonard's really considering this?
Penny: Yes. We got in a huge fight about it. He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby, then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that? What?
Bernadette: Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive to pass on your genes. It's only natural.
Penny: So you're on his side?
Amy: Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal, it's perfectly understandable.
Bernadette: But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
Amy: And we hate him.

Sheldon: They wanted you?
Leonard: Yes, Sheldon, they wanted me. I'm smart. I'm nice.
Sheldon: I'm smart. I'm nice. And I can eat cheese without clearing out a room.
Leonard: Are you upset he didn't ask you?
Sheldon: Of course not. I just think it's interesting that of all the people he knows, he thinks you're the best choice.
Leonard: Well, he does. I don't see why Penny is so against this.
Sheldon: Well, perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out there who is biologically yours but not actually yours.
Leonard: Wow, that's really insightful.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma.

Anu: But I warn you, I just got out of a weird relationship, and I might complain about my ex a lot.
Raj: Maybe he's being weird because he doesn't know how to ask for his ring back.

Leonard: All right, look, um I'm sorry that we fought before. I know this is a really unusual situation, and if you don't want me to do it, I won't.
Penny: Really?
Leonard: Yeah. We're a team. We're in this together.
Penny: I'll be right back.
Leonard: What is that?
Penny: It's a sample cup.
Leonard: Really? 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle.
Penny: It's the closest thing I could find. It's a gesture. Shut up.

Penny: They couldn't have picked a better person. [Leonard chuckles and picks up his phone] Are you calling Zack?
Leonard: No, Sheldon. Would you say that last part one more time?