Penny: You have fun with your new best buddy?
Leonard: Hey, it's your fault your dad likes me. You dated idiots your whole life.
Penny: Well, he was right about one thing. I am married to a stud.
Leonard: Mm. Really?
Penny: Yeah, I felt so bad about selling you out, I thought I would maybe make it up to you.
Leonard: Wait, wait. I can't. I mean, I want to, but I'm not supposed to for the next three days.
Penny: Oh. That's right. I forgot. All right, well, guess I'll just read a little and then, I don't know, go to sleep.
Leonard: Really? That's what you're sleeping in?
Penny: Oh, you want me to take it off?
Leonard: No.
Penny: All right. Well, then pipe down and let me read my comic book.
Leonard: Penny, I-I know what you're doing. Just please stop.
Penny: Ooh, listen to this. "Bam. Pow. Take that, Batman."

Anu: I'm glad you came. Howard made it sound like this wasn't your kind of thing
Bernadette: He did say that, but here I am. So what does he know?
Howard: I just didn't think you'd enjoy plummeting to the Earth at 400 miles an hour.
Bernadette: I love going fast, unlike Grandma here, poking along at 70 miles an hour. Am I right?

Anu: I've always wanted to do this. I'm an adrenaline junkie. Roller coasters, snowboarding, dating men who bathe with their dogs.
Raj: It was during a drought.

Bernadette: I'm a thrill-seeker, too. I've had to pull back since I became a mom, but I'll still jump on the back of a grocery cart and just roll through the meat section.
Howard: And I'm married to her, which is quite a ride.

Sheldon: Amy? There's something out here.
Amy: Just trap it under a cup, and I'll be there in a minute.
Sheldon: I'll try, but it's Leonard.
Amy: What? Well, what is he doing here?
Sheldon: I told you, if we left pizza on the counter, we'd attract something.

Leonard: Oh, hey, guys. Sorry. I used my key. I just needed a place to crash.
Amy: Is everything okay?
Leonard: Yeah, I had to get out of the apartment. My wife kept trying to have sex with me.
Sheldon: Been there.

Amy: Why are you trying to avoid having sex?
Sheldon: Well, we just did it three weeks ago.
Amy: I was talking to Leonard!

Leonard: Well, I-I have to go to the clinic for Zack and Marissa on Monday, and I'm supposed to save myself until then.
Amy: Sounds like maybe Penny's not totally on board with that plan.
Leonard: Well, she said she was. But she also said I looked dope. Honestly, I don't even think I looked fly.

Sheldon: So you're willing to go through with this, even though she clearly has reservations?
Leonard: If she has a problem, she should say something.
Sheldon: She tried to seduce you. If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.

Neil: Okay, I just need you guys to sign these waivers, and then you can go get changed.
Bernadette: There are a lot of pages here. Is this a waiver or a screenplay you've been working on?
Howard: I'm sure it's just boilerplate.
Neil: Absolutely. It's to protect us in case of injury.
Bernadette: It says, "Or death." Which is awesome.

Howard: Where are the changing rooms?
Neil: Dressing rooms are in the back.
Raj: No peeking.

Anu: Should we go get changed?
Bernadette: Yeah. Hang on a second.
Anu: What?
Bernadette: Just-- I have two babies at home. What am I doing?
Anu: If you don't want to do this, then why'd you come?
Bernadette: To prove to Howard that he doesn't know me as well as he thinks he does.
Anu: Looks like he does.
Bernadette: Unless I do it and then he doesn't.
Anu: Why not just be honest?
Bernadette: You're right. I should be honest. You owe me $3,000 for those plane tickets to India!

Wyatt: That was a long run.
Penny: Yeah. Well, I was in the zone. You know, and then in a diner and then in a massage chair at the mall where I fell asleep.
Wyatt: Are you avoiding me?
Penny: Well, I took a nap next to Hot Dog on a Stick. What do you think?

Penny: Yes. I feel like I'm letting everybody down. I hate disappointing Leonard, but I really hate disappointing you.
Wyatt: Oh, Slugger, you could never disappoint me. Okay, your high school years were a little rough.
Penny: Yeah. And I'm sorry about that.
Wyatt: There was you sneaking out at night and your boyfriends sneaking out in the morning.
Penny: I said sorry.
Wyatt: That time you got drunk and stole a horse.
Penny: Yeah. I was there. I remember. Parts of it.

Wyatt: But besides all that, being your dad is the best thing ever happened to me.
Penny: What about Randall and Lisa?
Wyatt: They're okay.