Bernadette: Aww, Raj did the dishes.
Howard: How do you know I didn't do them?
Bernadette: Because once when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.

Sheldon: No, that's okay. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, Bawwy?
Barry Kripke: Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Barry Kripke: Of course you do, because you're The Retractor!

Penny: (To Raj's dog) Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

Raj: Sheldon, I think you might find the support you're looking for if you realize relationships are a give and take. She can only be there for you as much as you are for her.
Amy: Thank you, Rajesh.
Raj: And Amy, you need to be patient with Sheldon and stop pressuring him into accepting intimacy on your terms.
Amy: You should probably go.

Sheldon: What's that animal doing in our apartment?
Leonard: She's in her crate, she can't get out.
Sheldon: I have two words for you: Jurassic Park.

Penny: You know if we did a shot every time they said something embarassing, this would be one hell of a drinking game.
Amy: Little early for alcohol, isn't it?
Sheldon: (On the radio) You know, I don't just say smart things about science, I also yodel. *Yodelling*
Amy: I'll get the vodka.

Penny: How can you not be happy? You're tall, thin and famous. ... Oh my God, I'm jealous of Sheldon.

Sheldon: Right now I'm having a rough time because there's three people in my room and it's starting to feel like a discotheque.

Amy: Sheldon, the point is Wil learned to embrace that part of his life and moved on to bigger and better things.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, I'm an author now, I do public speaking and I have my own web series about board games.
Amy: (To Wil) We're trying to cheer up him.

Raj: Sit, you look like you've had a long day.
Howard: Naw, she always looks like that. ... Because she married an idiot.

Penny: It's like if you're dating someone you're not that into and then they break up with you. Then you want them more than ever.
Sheldon: I have no idea what she's talking about, but we're ganging up on you so I agree.

Amy: Sheldon, you said you were unhappy getting attention for something you wish you never did.
Wil Wheaton: Yeah, I know a little something about that.
Sheldon: Nonsense, Wil. Your endless tweets are not that bad.
Wil Wheaton: I remember why it's been a while.

Sheldon: I don't need to sit here and take this, Flatow. It's because of bullies like you that everyday more and more Americans are making the switch to television.

Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
Sheldon: How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher? You were wonderful. A know-it all boy genius with an eidetic memory. Who couldn't relate to that?

Raj: There's also a time to stop eating so many jelly beans. And it's when you're ten!