Bernadette: Raj, your tag's sticking out. *Bernadette tucks Raj's clothing tag back in*
Raj: Thank you. That's the closest I've come to sex in like two years.
Bernadette: Now I feel a little gross.
Raj: You're only making it seem more real for me.

Howard: Listen, I was thinking you and I could probably try to be better friends.
Sheldon: Really? I was thinking what we have now is a bit much.

Sheldon: I have one question. Is this a prank? Where you land in Houston and you've made up wanted posters which have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name, and I get arrested and deported to South America?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Well I'm glad, because I would not have seen that coming.

Raj: Amy, I could use some help.
Amy: Let me guess. There's an undergrad in a leather jacket snapping his fingers by the water fountain.

Sheldon: I'm sorry for every mean thing I ever did or said to you.
Howard: I'm sorry too. It's all my fault.
Sheldon: If you weren't my friend there'd be a hole in my life.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Kind of like when Firefly was cancelled, but not as big.

Amy: Then I met Sheldon and look at where we are now.
Raj: You've kissed like once in three years.
Amy: That's true. Do whatever you want.

Howard: How do I know what you said? Damn you and your noise-cancelling breasts.

Bernadette: I said to stop insulting each other. I didn't tell you to take him on a romantic getaway.

Howard: Is that book called "Lies I tell to get sex"?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Amy: Look, I admit that it's odd that Raj didn't write to you himself. But if you get to know him, you'll see he's just a sweet, regular guy. As a counterpoint, here he is uninvited and visibly sweaty.

Amy: Thanks for walking me to my car.
Raj: Actually it's for both of us. Last night I watched Westside Story and I'm a little freaked out by streetgangs.
Amy: Why can't Raj find a girl? The mystery continues.

Howard: Hey, she's my wife. If anyone's gonna make her feel gross about sex, it's me.

Penny: Come on, let's just get this over with.
Leonard: "Let's just get this over with?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake Factory or are we having sex?

Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. It's just some stomach medication for my trip. There's a remote yet distinct possibility that I may end up in South America.
Penny: Remember the old days when I would have said something dumb like "Why?"

Raj: Emily, your face is like a precious Dew-kissed flower.
Amy: Wow.
Raj: I know. Powerful stuff, huh?
Amy: No. You're supposed to be yourself. Not all desperate and creepy.
Raj: Okay, I'm getting some mixed messages here.