Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Howard: All Ma's food is going to be ruined.
Bernadette: Why don't we take it home and put it on our freezer?
Raj: You don't want to do that. Refreezing not only removes moisture, but it creates ice crystals in the fibres of the meat that can compromise its taste and texture. What? I saw a teachable moment. I dropped some culinary science.

Sheldon: Is it my fault I have a much bigger reputation than he does?
Amy: It's not your fault.
Sheldon: Is it my fault that my name came first on the paper alphabetically?
Amy: Not your fault.
Sheldon: Is it my fault that when the reporter cited me as the lead scientist, I didn't correct him?
Amy: Hey look at that pretty bird.

Howard: Oh, man. This is the boutineer from my high school prom. A piece of cake from my Bar Mitzvah.
Bernadette: Did she throw anything away?
Howard: No. If I find my foreskin, I'm gonna kill myself.

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comics now.
Stuart: True. At the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Penny: Wow, it looks really pretty in here.
Stuart: Yeah, turns out half a dozen Menorahs really sets a mood.

Sheldon: All he had was an idea.
Amy: Well, that is an important part.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I have ideas all day long: Reverse SeaWorld where dolphins are allowed to pet people; a new clothing size between medium and large called "Marge"; Snow White retold from the point of view of Sneezy. Why won't Doc prescribe him something? We finally find out.
Amy: Well, Leonard's idea was good.
Sheldon: Fine, then Grumpy. What's he so grumpy about? Maybe his girlfriend won't take his side.

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever noticed only my name is on the cable bill?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Good, good. And your name is on the electric bill, and mine isn't. And I'm okay with that.
Leonard: Actually, your name is on the electric bill.
Sheldon: Right. This is a disaster.
Leonard: I don't even know what you're talking about and I agree.

Leonard: That's not helpful.
Sheldon: Well, I'd give more examples, but everyone in your position is so forgettable.

Leonard: I know shopping cheers you up, but it's not really my thing.
Penny: Well, how about this helicopter you control with an iPad?
Leonard: Does it have a camera in it?
Penny: It does have a camera in it.
Leonard: Baby's listening.

Leonard: I'm the one who thought of it.
Penny: Well, didn't he do a lot of the work?
Leonard: But now he's happy to let everyone think he's responsible for everything.
Penny: And that's why you get an iPad helicopter.

Leonard: He always needs all the attention. He's such a baby.
Penny: I know. I know.
Leonard: I swear he is never playing with my helicopter.

Howard: Hey guys. I just want everyone to know tonight's not a sad occasion.
Bernadette: Yeah, we just want to have the kind of dinner that we've all had here so many times before.
Howard: Good food. Good friends. And, sometime around midnight, heartburn that makes you pray for death.

Amy: All these bright people sitting around a table by candlelight. It feels like we could be an eighteenth century French salon.

Penny: I don't think I've eaten that much in my entire life.
Howard: That's why my people wandered the desert for forty years. Took that long to walk it off.