Sheldon: Remarkable. In just under a half hour, 200 metric tons of fuel will ignite in a controlled explosion right beneath Howard's keister. And all from a country whose entire contribution to the global economy has been Tetris and mail-order brides.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Amy: Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.

Sheldon: Would you like some aloe vera? 'cause you just got burned.

Amy: Stop it! Today is not about you, it's about Howard and Bernadette, and me!