Amy: Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman. You need to get used to the fact that men are going to be interest in her.
Sheldon: Well, and you need to drive the car and mind your business.
Amy: I will not have you be disrespectful to me.
Sheldon: What- you're not my mother.
Mary Cooper: Don't you be disrespectful to her.
Sheldon: Yes ma'am.
Mary Cooper: You'll get there. You've just gotta put some zing on it.

Mary Cooper: When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
Penny: Well, come on, she did kinda start it.
Mary Cooper: Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah.
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see.
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.

Raj: Can we take a moment to discuss that I just lied to the government for you?
Howard: Yeah, I would not have done that for you.

Sheldon: Do you think your father's doing unspeakable things to my mother?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.

Bernadette: Love is patient, but it's not gonna put up with all the side chatter, so let's knock it off!
Howard: At least she's yelling at someone else for a change.
Bernadette: Howard!