Amy: He's been in there a long time. Should I go talk to him?
Mary Cooper: He's upset with me. I should be the one who talks to him. (stays seated and works on her knitting)
Amy: Are you going to?
Mary Cooper: Oh, heck no.

Mary Cooper: When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
Penny: Well, come on, she did kinda start it.
Mary Cooper: Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah!
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see!
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Sheldon: Well then why are you doing it?
Mary: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Mary Cooper: Sheldon, if you're trying to prove me wrong, the tighty-whities on your head ain't changing my mind.