Howard: So what did you and Leonard do?
Penny: Actually, we got in a pretty nasty fight.
Leonard: It might've been the worst one we've ever had.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, what happened?
Leonard: Well, we had started binge-watching Luke Cage together, and it was kind of our thing, and then, I find out that she watched two episodes without me.
Bernadette: It's like I was excited for a present and got socks.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Bernadette: Everyone's a better mom than me.
Raj: Oh, don't take it so personally, maybe your baby's just a jerk.

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Mary Cooper: Sheldon, if you're trying to prove me wrong, the tighty-whities on your head ain't changing my mind.