Quotes from ‘The Zarnecki Incursion’

The Zarnecki Incursion

'The Zarnecki Incursion' - Season 4, Episode 19

After Sheldon's World of Warcraft account is hacked, the guys go on a quest to retrieve Sheldon's items and avenge Todd Zarnecki.

Air Date: March 31, 2011.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Give my friend his stuff back.
Tod Zarnecki: I don't know what you're talking about.
Penny: Well then good news. Today's the day a girl's finally going to touch you in your little special place. *Kicks him in the groin*

Quote from Raj

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Quote from Sheldon

Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I've never said these words before, but good job, Howard.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon:Excuse me, Penny, but "Doodle Jump" is a game. "Angry Birds" is a game. "World of Warcraft" is a massively multiplaying online role-playing... All right, technically it's a game.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Why hast thou forsaken me, O deity whose existence I doubt?

Quote from Penny

Penny: Amy is right, I do want to fling my poop at her.

Quote from Sheldon

Cop: Your friend called 911 to report a robbery.
Leonard: Oh, my God, what did they get?
Sheldon: What didn't they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my Vicious Gladiator armor, my Wand of Untaimed Power and all my gold.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: They also took my battle ostrich.
Leonard: No, not Glen.
Sheldon: Yes, the only bird that I ever loved.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: 3000 hours! 3000 hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Bad news, the Nigerian prince maybe a fraud.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Why did you bring that?
Sheldon: No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard:You called the police because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?
Sheldon:What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass is the desert sun. Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: We did it! What? I said we.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I'm hell-bent on catching a cyber criminal, not the common cold.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: I can't believe we're going all the way to San Diego to confront this guy.
Howard: Yeah, we're kind of badasses, aren't we?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: This act of aggression must be met with swift and cruel ferocity. It is time to cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Wait a minute! You're not going to do anything?
Police Officer: Mr. Cooper, theres nothing-
Sheldon: Doctor Cooper.
Police Officer: Seriously?
Leonard: Not the kind with access to drugs.
Police Officer: Fine. Dr. Cooper. I'm sorry for your loss, but the Pasadena Police Department doesn't have jurisdiction in Pandora.
Sheldon: That's from Avatar. World of Warcraft takes place in Azeroth. Goodness gracious, how are you allowed to carry a gun?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Can you at least refer me to a rogue ex-cop?
Police Officer: What?
Sheldon: You know, one who was drummed off the force because he refused to play by the rules, and now he hires himself out to impose his own brand of rough justice?
Police Officer: No.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's all gone. All gone.
Leonard: I'm really sorry, Sheldon.
Sheldon: What kind of world do we live in, where a man would take another man's battle ostrich?

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I'm on it. (On phone) Hi, Mrs. Wolowitz. Is, is Howard there? Okay, thanks. (To Sheldon) That particular dog of war will have to call you back after his bath.
Sheldon: See if Raj is done with Pilates.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Three thousand hours. Three thousand hours clicking on that mouse, collecting weapons and gold. It's almost as if it was a huge waste of time.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Oh! There isn't enough chamomile tea in the world to quell the rage in my heart.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Hold on. I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.
Sheldon: Can we trust him?
Raj: I should say so, he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Whoa! Somebody's auctioning off a jewelled ostrich bridle!
Sheldon: No. Glenn's was leather. He was a simple ostrich. Is! Is, I haven't given up hope.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: Okay, well, anyways, I brought you a day-old cheesecake to cheer you up!
Sheldon: Stale pastry is hollow succor to a man who is bereft of ostrich.
Penny: Just say thank you.
Sheldon: I thought I just did.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Oh, hi! I was just dropping off a cheesecake to Sheldon. He was robbed of a bunch of imaginary crap that's useful in a make-believe place.
Priya: I don't know what that means.
Penny: Yeah, well, sadly, I do.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: Did you know last weekend Priya took Leonard rollerblading at the beach? Can you believe that?
Bernadette: I feel like I'm supposed to say that bitch, but I don't have enough information.
Penny: I am the one who spent two years trying to get him to even go to the beach in the first place. And he was so phobic about stepping on medical waste, I had to carry him to the water.
Bernadette: I took Howard to the beach once. He almost burst into flames like a vampire.

Quote from Bernadette

Penny: So what's the thanks I get for turning Leonard into quality boyfriend material? I have to tiptoe around his new girlfriend.
Amy: I think you're on.
Bernadette: Oh. That bitch!

Quote from Amy

Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
Amy: Ah, here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure Mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You guys should've seen Leonard when I first met him. There was no eye contact. He was either looking up at the ceiling, or down at his shoes.
Amy: I'm drunk.
Penny: You know, for the first couple of months, whenever I would take off my bra, he would giggle and say, oh boy, my breast friends.

Quote from Amy

Bernadette: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm never speaking to Priya again.
Penny: No, don't do that. No reason to be mean to her.
Amy: This may be the alcohol talking, but I believe there is. Are you familiar with the recent study of Tanzanian chimpanzees by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?
Penny: No, but I can name all the Kardashians.
Amy: Primates, such as ourselves, have a natural instinct to ostracize ill-mannered members of the troop. Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl or fling her waste at Priya is hard-wired into her DNA.
Bernadette: I don't have an urge to fling my waste.
Amy: Believe me, it's there, we all have it. Hit me with some more booze, and I'll show you.

Quote from Howard

Howard: All right, here we are, this is the tavern where all the black-market weapon trades go down.
Raj: I don't think my character should be in a place like this. Everyone's undressing her with their eyes.
Howard: Maybe if you stop dropping your sword and bending over to pick it up.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: So, how do you guys want to play this?
Sheldon: Be ruthless. You tell him if he doesn't start talking, we'll register a complaint with his Internet service provider.
Raj: Sheldon, what if he gets his Internet from his cable company? He could lose his HBO and all their delightful original programming.
Sheldon: I don't care! I'm losin' it, man!

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Why don't we play this smart? Try a little good goblin, bad goblin.
Priya: Oh, dear Lord.
Howard: Nah, I think we have to be more subtle.
Raj: Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I'll have sex with him.
Leonard: That's not where it was going.
Raj: Good, because I would hate that.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Hi. We're just heading out for a drink.
Amy: Because I do that now.
Bernadette: Count your blessings you're not a Tanzanian chimp.
Priya: What?
Penny: Don't listen to her, she's had a lot of ice cream.

Quote from Amy

Penny: Do you want to join us?
Priya: Oh, thank you, but I have work to do.
Amy: Four women walk down the stairs, how many reach the lobby?

Quote from Raj

Leonard: Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?
Raj: Oh, no, don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go-between.
Leonard: Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?
Raj: There's no reason to worry.
Leonard: That's a relief.
Raj: I'm sure many women in happy relationships spend their nights Skyping with their ex-boyfriend Sanjay.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki, 2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California.
Sheldon: The name and the address drip with evil.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Fine. You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back. What if he says no?
Sheldon: I don't know if you've been following the news, Leonard, but there have been some terrific advancements in the field of torture.
Leonard: No one's getting tortured.
Sheldon: Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva Convention.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: But ask yourself this, in the course of our lives, how much lunch money has been taken from us? How many kites? How many Scooby-Doo Trapper Keepers?
Raj: I totally had one of those.
Sheldon: Of course you did. It was a fun and practical way of organizing your school work. But the bullies took it from us. Well, no more. Tonight, we take back our dignity, our birthright and our pride.

Quote from Howard

Raj: I have a hip-hop aerobics class at five, could we go after?
Sheldon: Sure.
Howard: Also, tonight's the Sabbath and my mother and I have a tradition of lighting the candles and watching Wheel of Fortune, so If we could leave at eight, we'd still be able to regain our birthright at ten, ten thirty latest.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: I'm sorry, I thought this delay was so you could watch Wheel of Fortune with your mother.
Howard: I am. She's just bleaching her mustache. Check it out. Hey, Ma! Before and After! Four words, 17 letters, two N's, one V.
Mrs. Wolowitz: (offscreen) Fanny pack of wolves.
Leonard: That's incredible.
Howard: Yeah, she's kind of a Wheel savant.

Quote from Howard

Howard: New puzzle, Ma. Same name. One N, two D's, three O's.
Mrs. Wolowitz: (offscreen) Whoopi and Rube Goldberg!
Sheldon: That's uncanny.
Howard: I know. It's her superpower. Well, that and jiggling her arm fat.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I almost feel sorry for the poor fool, sitting in his split-level suburban ranch, unaware that a vengeful horde is barreling down the San Diego Freeway at 71 miles an hour. Ease up there, lead foot. You trying to get us killed?

Quote from Raj

Raj: I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
Sheldon: This says Beyonce Bootylicious Dance Mix.
Raj: It's a re-writable CD. Just put it in.
Howard: Beyonce? Really?
Raj: She's curvy and she owns it. I like that.

Quote from Sheldon

Howard: Next time we go to kick someone's ass, we take the train.
Sheldon: I always prefer the train.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Okay, let's get clear on something. We're just going to tell this guy to transfer all of your stuff back into your account and then be on our way. No one's batlething anybody.
Sheldon: So my blade shall not taste blood tonight?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, now I just feel silly holding it.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: Can I at least kick down the door?
Leonard: You're welcome to try, but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Are you Todd Zarnecki?
Todd Zarnecki: Yeah. Who are you?
Sheldon: I am Sheldor of Azeroth. I want my things back.
Todd Zarnecki: I don't think so. Let me see that.
Sheldon: Careful. That's a collectible.
Todd Zarnecki: I know. I've always wanted one. (Closes door, taking Sheldon's bat'leth)
Sheldon: Well, he's even more cunning than we thought.

Quote from Raj

Sheldon: You know, the joke's on him. Without the certificate of authenticity, that bat'leth is worthless.
Howard: Yeah, he walked right into our trap.
Raj: Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Quote from Howard

Leonard: Uh-oh.
Raj: What's the matter?
Leonard: Something's wrong, I'm not getting any gas. Anybody know anything about internal combustion engines?
Sheldon: Of course.
Raj: Very basic.
Howard: 19th-century technology.
Leonard: Does anybody know how to fix an internal combustion engine?
Sheldon: No.
Howard: No, not a clue.

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: Well, we'd better call somebody to come pick us up.
Sheldon: It'd be swell if they had a train.

Quote from Howard

Sheldon: Thank you, Penny.
Penny: No problem. So, Leonard, I think it's interesting you didn't call your girlfriend to come get you.
Leonard: Uh, I kind of told her I was working.
Penny: So you lied to her. Also interesting.
Leonard: Yeah, she doesn't really understand the whole Warcraft adventure-role-playing thing.
Penny: Well, doesn't matter if she gets it, as long as she's pretty.
Howard: This one's funny, Leonard. How come you couldn't make it work with her?

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