Quotes from ‘The Egg Salad Equivalency’

The Egg Salad Equivalency

'The Egg Salad Equivalency' - Season 6, Episode 12

When Sheldon's assistant makes a move on Leonard, his plan to focus her mind back on work lands him with a sexual harassment complaint. Meanwhile, Penny feels insecure when she learns Alex was hitting on Leonard.

Air Date: January 3, 2013.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
Alex: What?
Sheldon: Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.

Quote from Amy

Amy: I have a lab full of coked up monkeys with nothing to lose.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I feel like I've been called down to the principal's office. Although I wouldn't mind if Brown Sugar suspended me. From a sex swing. (Looking at his flask) This may have been a mistake.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Your ovaries are squirting so much goofy juice into your brains you don't even know which way is up.

Quote from Raj

Raj: Weird, Human Resources wants to talk to me tomorrow. (He turns to his dog, licking her butt.) Will you stop licking your ass for two minutes, I have a problem here!

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Well, you remember when you told me I talk in my sleep? Well, it occurred to me that, like most things I say, it's probably pure gold. So I started recording it all, and now Alex gets to comb through eight hours of what I like to call Sheldon After Dark.

Quote from Raj

Raj: I did the research. Tony the Tiger, Dig'em the Frog, Cap'n Crunch, Toucan Sam, Count Chocula, Trix the Rabbit, Snap, Crackle and Pop. Not one cereal mascot is a girl. It's a total breakfast sausage fest.
Leonard: Are we done with this?
Raj: Almost. Franken Berry, Boo Berry, Sugar Bear and the Honey Nut Cheerio bee, I believe his name is Buzz.

Quote from Sheldon

Raj: Your assistant is totally hitting on this jerk and he loves it.
Sheldon: Well, that's not acceptable. I mean, I'm her boss. She needs to be solely focused on my needs, not distracted by your pasty, androgynous brand of sexuality.
Leonard: I'm androgynous?
Sheldon: Oh, please. look at you with your pouty bee-stung lips.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: I want to thank you all for coming on such short notice. In the past, I've reached out to each of you individually, but I believe my present situation requires the collective wisdom of the group. Which, as you can see from your commemorative t-shirts, I have dubbed Sheldon Cooper's Council of Ladies.

Quote from Sheldon

Bernadette: Who's involved?
Sheldon: Well, a short bespectacled colleague of mine who lives in the shadow of his brilliant roommate. Let's call this colleague Ricardo Shilly-Shally.
Penny: You're talking about Leonard.
Sheldon: No, no, Shilly-Shally has red hair and he briefly served in the Mexican Navy.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Anyway, despite the fact he has a girlfriend, Shilly-Shally has been the recipient of inappropriate workplace flirtations from a young lady.
Amy: It's your assistant Alex, isn't it?
Sheldon: No, no, no. This is Tondelaya della Ventimiglia.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Okay, look. It's not really about Ricardo and Tondelaya. It is really about her boss, who doesn't quite know how to handle this situation and could use your advice. Which is surprising because Dr. Einstein von Brainstorm, he's usually pretty smart about these things.

Quote from Sheldon

Ms. Davis: Well, according to Ms. Jensen, you said that she was a slave to her biological urges and called her an egg salad sandwich. I don't even know what that means, but I'm gonna go ahead and tell you you can't say it.
Sheldon: Oh, I see the confusion here. No, no. Alex thought I was singling her out. No, I meant that all woman are slaves to their biological urges, you know? Even you. You're a slave.

Quote from Howard

Raj: Howard built a sex robot.
Howard: That is not true. All I did was build a robot.
Ms. Davis: Did it have six breasts?
Howard: I'm sorry, I'm a feminist, I don't notice things like how many breasts a robot has.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: But I came to file a complaint. Somebody has made me feel uncomfortable in the workplace by using language of an inappropriate and sexual nature.
Ms. Davis: And who was that?
Sheldon: You, you dirty birdie. I thought about the things you said to me yesterday, and I realized I'm deeply offended. Now, be a dear and get me one of those complaint forms.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: And thanks to you, I know better than to ask if you're menstruating. And based on your behavior, I don't have to.

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