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Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: I didn't know you eat here.
Sheldon: We don't, this is a disturbing aberration.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leonard: Leslie, this is Penny, she lives across the hall from Sheldon and me.
Howard: ... And walks in quiet beauty like the night.
Penny: Howard, I asked you not to do that.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: My equations, someone's tampered with my equations.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Of course I'm sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics. The sign's been changed.
Leonard: Oh, yeah. But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? (looking at board) Are you--? Hey, look, that fixes the problem I've been having.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leonard: If Penny didn't know that Leslie had already turned me down then that would unambiguously mean that she, Penny, thought I should ask her, Leslie, out, indicating that she, Penny, had no interest in me asking her, Penny, out but because she did know that I had asked Leslie out and that she, Leslie, had turned me down then she, Penny, could be offering me consolation. "That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple" but while thinking "good, Leonard remains available."
Sheldon: You're a lucky man Leonard.
Leonard: How so?
Sheldon: You're talking to one of three men in the western hemisphere capable of following that train of thought.
Leonard: Well, what do you think?
Sheldon: I said I could follow it, I didn't say I cared.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Howard: What do you recommend for someone who worked up a man-sized appetite from a morning of weight training and cardio funk?
Penny: A shower.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Penny: Leonard, I didn't know you played the cello?
Leonard: Yeah, my parents felt that naming me Leonard and putting me in advanced placement classes wasn't getting me beaten up enough.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: I admire your fingering.
Leonard: Thank you.
Leslie: Maybe some time you can try that on my instrument.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Penny: Leonard's had girls over before, right?
Sheldon: Oh, yes, but there's usually planning, courtship and advance notice. Last time I was able to book a cruise to the Arctic to see a solar eclipse.
Penny: Wait, you had to leave the state because your roommate was having sex?
Sheldon: I didn't have to, the dates just happened to coincide.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: I don't know what the protocol is here. Do I stay, do I leave? Do I wait to greet them with a refreshing beverage?
Penny: Gee, Sheldon, you're asking the wrong girl. I'm usually on the other side of the tie.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: I don't come into your house and touch your board.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
Leslie: I'm sorry, I've got to run. If you come up with an adjective, text me.

Quote from Leslie Winkle in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: Just so we're clear, you understand that me hanging back to practise with you is a pretext for letting you know that I'm sexually available.
Leonard: Really?
Leslie: Yeah, I'm good to go.
Leonard: I thought you weren't interested in me.
Leslie: That was before I saw you handling that beautiful piece of wood between your legs.
Leonard: You mean my cello?
Leslie: No, I mean the obvious crude double entendre. I'm seducing you.

Quote from Leslie Winkle in the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Leslie: Is it the waitress?
Leonard: Penny? What about her?
Leslie: Well, I thought I saw your pupils dilate when you looked at her, which, unless you're a heroin addict, points to sexual attraction.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Howard: Forgive me for being so bold, but I now see where Sheldon gets his charming good looks.
Mary: Honey, that ain't gonna work, but you keep trying.

Quote from Mary Cooper in the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Mary: I made chicken. I hope it's not one of the animals that you people think is magic.

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