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Quote from Raj in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard: Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?
Raj: Oh, no, don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go-between.
Leonard: Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?
Raj: There's no reason to worry.
Leonard: That's a relief.
Raj: I'm sure many women in happy relationships spend their nights Skyping with their ex-boyfriend Sanjay.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Howard: Our culprit is one Mr. Todd Zarnecki, 2711 Ocean View Road, Carlsbad, California.
Sheldon: The name and the address drip with evil.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard: Fine. You walk up to the house, knock on the door and demand your stuff back. What if he says no?
Sheldon: I don't know if you've been following the news, Leonard, but there have been some terrific advancements in the field of torture.
Leonard: No one's getting tortured.
Sheldon: Fine, we'll abide by the Geneva Convention.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: But ask yourself this, in the course of our lives, how much lunch money has been taken from us? How many kites? How many Scooby-Doo Trapper Keepers?
Raj: I totally had one of those.
Sheldon: Of course you did. It was a fun and practical way of organizing your school work. But the bullies took it from us. Well, no more. Tonight, we take back our dignity, our birthright and our pride.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: I have a hip-hop aerobics class at five, could we go after?
Sheldon: Sure.
Howard: Also, tonight's the Sabbath and my mother and I have a tradition of lighting the candles and watching Wheel of Fortune, so If we could leave at eight, we'd still be able to regain our birthright at ten, ten thirty latest.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: I'm sorry, I thought this delay was so you could watch Wheel of Fortune with your mother.
Howard: I am. She's just bleaching her mustache. Check it out. Hey, Ma! Before and After! Four words, 17 letters, two N's, one V.
Mrs. Wolowitz: (offscreen) Fanny pack of wolves.
Leonard: That's incredible.
Howard: Yeah, she's kind of a Wheel savant.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Howard: New puzzle, Ma. Same name. One N, two D's, three O's.
Mrs. Wolowitz: (offscreen) Whoopi and Rube Goldberg!
Sheldon: That's uncanny.
Howard: I know. It's her superpower. Well, that and jiggling her arm fat.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: I almost feel sorry for the poor fool, sitting in his split-level suburban ranch, unaware that a vengeful horde is barreling down the San Diego Freeway at 71 miles an hour. Ease up there, lead foot. You trying to get us killed?

Quote from Raj in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Raj: I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
Sheldon: This says Beyonce Bootylicious Dance Mix.
Raj: It's a re-writable CD. Just put it in.
Howard: Beyonce? Really?
Raj: She's curvy and she owns it. I like that.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Howard: Next time we go to kick someone's ass, we take the train.
Sheldon: I always prefer the train.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard: Okay, let's get clear on something. We're just going to tell this guy to transfer all of your stuff back into your account and then be on our way. No one's batlething anybody.
Sheldon: So my blade shall not taste blood tonight?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Well, now I just feel silly holding it.

Quote from Leonard in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Can I at least kick down the door?
Leonard: You're welcome to try, but the other day, it took you 15 minutes to get into a FedEx box.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: Are you Todd Zarnecki?
Todd Zarnecki: Yeah. Who are you?
Sheldon: I am Sheldor of Azeroth. I want my things back.
Todd Zarnecki: I don't think so. Let me see that.
Sheldon: Careful. That's a collectible.
Todd Zarnecki: I know. I've always wanted one. (Closes door, taking Sheldon's bat'leth)
Sheldon: Well, he's even more cunning than we thought.

Quote from Raj in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: You know, the joke's on him. Without the certificate of authenticity, that bat'leth is worthless.
Howard: Yeah, he walked right into our trap.
Raj: Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Leonard: Uh-oh.
Raj: What's the matter?
Leonard: Something's wrong, I'm not getting any gas. Anybody know anything about internal combustion engines?
Sheldon: Of course.
Raj: Very basic.
Howard: 19th-century technology.
Leonard: Does anybody know how to fix an internal combustion engine?
Sheldon: No.
Howard: No, not a clue.

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