Penny: So, do you want to come?
Amy: No, thanks. I already live in a place all the nerds come to.

Amy: How do I get him to treat me better?
Penny: All right. Let me give you a little girlfriend 101. Usually the first move out of the gate is you withhold sex, but that will work better after Sheldon hits puberty. So, I'd say give him the silent treatment.
Amy: No, he loves that.
Penny: Hmm.
Amy: Our record for sitting in a room together and not speaking to each other is six-and-a half hours. He said it was a magical evening.

Penny: Want some coffee liqueur on your ice cream?
Amy: Ah, here's the alcohol and drug peer pressure Mother warned me about. I was starting to think it was never going to happen. Yes, please.

Bernadette: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm never speaking to Priya again.
Penny: No, don't do that. No reason to be mean to her.
Amy: This may be the alcohol talking, but I believe there is. Are you familiar with the recent study of Tanzanian chimpanzees by Nishida and Hosaka out of Kyoto University?
Penny: No, but I can name all the Kardashians.
Amy: Primates, such as ourselves, have a natural instinct to ostracize ill-mannered members of the troop. Bernadette's urge to shun, scowl or fling her waste at Priya is hard-wired into her DNA.
Bernadette: I don't have an urge to fling my waste.
Amy: Believe me, it's there, we all have it. Hit me with some more booze, and I'll show you.

Penny: Do you want to join us?
Priya: Oh, thank you, but I have work to do.
Amy: Four women walk down the stairs, how many reach the lobby?

Amy: That was rude.
Sheldon: He does it all the time. He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.
Amy: Cornucopia. What a mellifluous word.
Sheldon: Let's make that our word of the day.
Amy: Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.

Leonard: Do you guys have a location yet? 'Cause you don't have a lot of time.
Amy: Hey, it took us nine months to pick a date, and a week to decide if brains can have lips on them, so get in the boat and row.

Sheldon: Leonard's about to demand a job that I don't think the university will give him. I'm worried he's making a giant mistake. But maybe I only think that because deep down I don't want him to succeed.
Amy: The fact that you're worried about your motivation supports the idea that you genuinely care for your friend.
Sheldon: I do. Thank you, Amy. You know what? After I've talked to Leonard, you've earned yourself a bonus lecture on Sponge Hulk.
Amy: That'll show me.

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?

Amy: It's not for us to judge. We're just here to provide comfort and support while you come to grips with what a despicable thing you've done.

Amy: Well, granted Penny your secondary sexual characteristics are reasonably bodacious but Priya is highly educated, she's an accomplished professional and she comes from the culture that literally wrote the book on neat ways to have sex. Whereas you, on the other hand, are a community college drop-out who comes from the culture that wrote the book on tipping cows.

Amy: Sheldon I'm disappointed, as a brilliant man you're entitled to a vice. I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport, but this? Lame-o!
Sheldon: Well, A, comic books employ story telling through sequential art, a medium that dates back 17, 000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux, and B, you play the harp. Like that's cool.

Amy: I came as quickly as I could.
Penny: Ok, why?
Amy: To comfort you, of course. Sheldon told me about Leonard dating Rajesh's sister, so I high-tailed over here to pick up the pieces of your broken heart.
Penny: Amy, I'm fine.
Amy: You don't have to be strong for me. Now, let's talk about Priya, that man-stealing bitch.

Amy: Penny, I really want to eat this banana, but it's stuck inside this bamboo puzzle box.

Amy: When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.