Amy: It seems like the appropriate thing to do when one's best friend finds herself replaced by a smart, beautiful woman with the smouldering sexuality of a crouched Bengal tiger.

Amy: I love his eidetic memory, it's so sexy. Sheldon, what are the ingredients in Pringles?
Sheldon: Dried potatoes, vegetable oil, corn flour, wheat starch, maltodextrin, salt, and my favorite ingredient of all, uniformity.
Amy: The uterus quivers, does it not?

Sheldon: I had a 101 fever. If that's not a time to verbally abuse my loved ones, when is?
Amy: Sheldon, when you're sick, you can be unbearable. That's why your friends have been known to work late or sneak out to the movies or stay at a neurobiology conference three days after it's ended.
Sheldon: You stayed in Michigan all week to avoid being around me?
Amy: No, no, not just that. I mean Detroit is beautiful when it's sleeting.

Penny: Well, I've been poking around the internet and I think I've found something we'll enjoy watching even more.
Amy: What is it?
Penny: Oh, just a video of Bernadette in a beauty pageant.
Bernadette: Okay, I learned my lesson. Making fun of people is wrong.
Amy: I haven't learned my lesson, play it. Play it.

Amy: If you die and donate your body to science, I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.

Sheldon: Oh, that's nonsense. I proclaimed my love for you. And the last time I looked in your eyes was when you thought you had conjunctivitis.
Amy: Other than the fact I had it, that was a magical night.

Amy: Sheldon, I understand that you're upset because you feel left out, but I don't know why we're even talking about this. Just apologize to them.
Sheldon: Fine, if that's what it takes to go on their dumb trip.
Amy: Maybe you could try apologizing because you actually feel bad. It's called empathy. It's something you could work on.
Sheldon: I have empathy. Watch. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him.
Amy: Great. Now try it as if this isn't your first day as a person.
Sheldon: Fine. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. Hey, I felt a little something. Let me try again. Leonard made me soup, and I was mean to him. I was mean to him. He must have felt terrible. Oh, now I feel terrible.
Amy: Neat! Glad I could help.

Leonard: You and I never hang out like this. Why is that?
Amy: I know, it's weird, right?
Leonard: Yeah, we should do it more often.
Amy: Oh, no. I mean this is weird right now.

Amy: Sheldon, The View is a daytime talk show hosted by women.

Amy: Actually, our relationship agreement covers a wide array of scenarios. Including career changes, financial instability, intelligent dog uprising. FYI, we plan on selling out the human race hard.

Leonard: It's Penny.
Amy: Is she mad?
Leonard: It doesn't seem like it. She got Sheldon to go to a psychic with her.
Amy: A psychic? He considers them not only mumbo-jumbo, but extra jumbo mumbo-jumbo.

Amy: Hello, Mr. Rat Brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back us up, are we?

Amy: If you'd have let me bring the chloroform, we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber!

Amy: So I guess you have to have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

Bernadette: You're embarrassing me.
Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine.
Bernadette: What?
Amy: No, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double A battery in there, it makes my leg kick.