Amy: I don't want to be in the middle of this. No matter which way I vote, I'm either a bad friend, a bad fiancée, or an ungrateful recipient of a battery.
Sheldon: Next time I have a meeting in the shower, you're welcome to attend.
Amy: Sheldon. Sheldon for president. I pick Sheldon!

Amy: We wrote you a special thank you note.
Leonard: Oh.
Penny: Are those words?
Sheldon: No. It's a secret code that you two get to figure out together.
Amy: Hint: it's based on Sanskrit, but not the Sanskrit you're thinking of. (laughs)
Sheldon: And best of all, you can't use the Internet to cheat.
Amy: Because we locked you out of your Wi-Fi, and the answer to this is your new password.
Leonard: I'm no longer happy.

Amy: What the hell, Penny?!
Penny: I'm gonna need more than that.
Amy: You're not having kids? How could you do this to me?
Penny: How is it any of your business?
Amy: Because your kids were supposed to be friends with my kids. Who's gonna be friends with them now?
Penny: They will find other friends.
Amy: Oh, sure, 'cause Sheldon's DNA plus my DNA equals a kid who knows how to make friends. Grow up!

Amy: Hey, why aren't you in your costume?
Sheldon: I just didn't feel like it.
Amy: You get that I'm wearing a corset because of you, not because I'm tired of breathing?

Amy: Whatcha doin'?
Penny: You scared me.
Amy: I'll ask again. What-cha doin'?
Penny: Nothing.
Amy: Really? You and Bernadette aren't doing stuff without me?
Penny: What? No! Why would you even say that?
Amy: You know how your talent is getting just drunk enough to have a good time without being hungover the next day?
Penny: Thank you.
Amy: Well, mine is knowing when I'm being excluded.

Amy: My mom thinks that Sheldon is the reason I don't spend a lot of time with her.
Penny: Well, why would she think that?
Amy: Because I told her. You need a cup of coffee? Wake up!

Mrs. Fowler: I'd like you a lot better if you weren't keeping my daughter away from me.
Sheldon: Uh, wh-- Hang on, Amy. What's the problem, Green Beans?
Mrs. Fowler: Amy said she couldn't come to Thanksgiving dinner because you always have to spend it with your mother.
Sheldon: I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my mother in years. Amy, why would you tell your mother that I spend Thanksgiving with my mother?
Amy: Uh, no time to talk about that now. All your action figures are on fire. Harrison Ford's in the lobby. Come quick.

Raj: I wonder who else is playing.
Leonard: I bet we can use graph theory to determine who Wil knows and who is likely to play D&D.
Howard: Yes.
Leonard: Okay, obviously he's connected to the whole Next Gen cast-
Penny: So this is the rest of our night, huh?
Amy: Oh, no, this is the rest of our lives.

Raj: I never thought I would see Sheldon enjoying himself around babies so much.
Amy: Yeah, how about that?
Raj: So he just happened to stumble upon a book about experimenting with them the same day we were hanging out with Howard's kids?
Amy: Yep, don't overthink it.

Raj: Where are the kids?
Amy: Oh, Sheldon's helping Howard give them a bath.
Raj: Hmm. So you really think you can trick Sheldon into liking babies?
Amy: I slept with him. I married him. You want to bet against me?

Sheldon: It's so funny, we did all these experiments on them and they didn't even notice.
Amy: I know, I was worried it would be obvious, but it wasn't.

Sheldon: You know, spending time with Michael and Halley today really made me think about our future children.
Amy: Huh, what an interesting and completely unforeseen development.

Dr. Pemberton: You know, it's strange. A few months ago, nobody paid any attention to us, and now all of a sudden, we're getting all these accolades.
Dr. Campbell: Yeah, have-have any of you ever felt like maybe you didn't deserve it?
Sheldon: Leonard, there's something I need to say.
Leonard: Shut up.
Sheldon: Okay.
Dr. Pemberton: It's crazy. We conclusively proved super-asymmetry, and yet somehow we, we still feel like impostors.
Dr. Campbell: There should be a term for that.
Amy: Oh, for crying out loud, there is a term for that! It's called "impostor syndrome" and you don't have it! Because you can't have it if you are impostors, and you are! We're the ones who discovered super-asymmetry! So if anyone's gonna feel like they have imposter syndrome, it's us, because we're not impostors! They are! You're impostors and you're frauds!

Amy: Look, when you wanted Penny, you didn't care what anybody else thought or wanted, including Penny.
Leonard: That's true. Yeah, yeah, there was something I wanted, I went after it and I got it.
Amy: Now you're hiding from it on the stairs, so it all worked out.

Amy: I should've seen this coming.
Raj: Oh, stop. You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. You know, like maybe 300 tiny haircuts over a ten-year period.