Leonard: You pick up your dresses?
Amy: Yep. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon: What about the day you met me?
Amy: I stand by my statement.

Sheldon: Well, I hate to say it, but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.
Amy: Well, you would be the authority on the subject.
Sheldon: What does that mean?
Amy: Sheldon, no one is happier than I am to win the Nobel. But it's not more important than our friends.
Sheldon: How can you call them friends when they're abandoning us?
Amy: They're abandoning us because you broke their hearts.
Sheldon: I didn't mean to.
Amy: I know! You never mean to. That's the only reason people tolerate you!
Sheldon: Does that include you?
Amy: Sometimes, yeah.

Amy: If you'd have let me bring the chloroform, we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber!

Amy: Hello, Mr. Rat Brain. Not so bitey without the rest of the rat to back us up, are we?

Amy: So I guess you have to have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

Amy: Here they go fighting again. You'd never hear her talk that way to sauvignon blanc.

Bernadette: You're embarrassing me.
Amy: Oh, don't be embarrassed. I'll show you the divot in my spine.
Bernadette: What?
Amy: No, it's okay. I was born with it. If you put a double A battery in there, it makes my leg kick.

Amy: I didn't kill anything. You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly. I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
Amy: Really? That's the commitment issue you're wrestling with?

Amy: Thanks for taking me out.
Penny: Well, you're spending your birthday with Sheldon. Why not celebrate early?
Bernadette: So, where do you wanna go?
Amy: I hear that new Mexican place on Green St. is good.
Penny: Sure, sure. Or, we could take you to get a bikini wax.
Amy: Why would I get a bikini wax for my birthday?
Penny: Oh, I don't know. It was just a thought.
Amy: I think I'll just stick to Mexican.

Bernadette: This is pretty cool. You don't see too many spherical cakes.
*The cake rolls off the table*
Amy: I wonder why that is.

Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past.
Amy: Ahem.
Penny: Almost everyone has a past.

Amy: Let's just play.
Sheldon: I'll start you off easy. Electric eel, pufferfish, shrimp.
Amy: Hmm. Well, I wouldn't fight the eel, because I know it can generate enough current to kill a horse.
So I'd eat the eel, fight the shrimp, and befriend the pufferfish, because it would be nice to have company on those days I feel bloated.

Sheldon: Look at her, desperately wishing she was over her at the cool table.
[Cut to Amy laughing with her colleagues at another table]
Sheldon: Don't worry little moth, the flame will come to you.

Raj: Amy, I could use some help.
Amy: Let me guess. There's an undergrad in a leather jacket snapping his fingers by the water fountain.

Sheldon: And that, little lady, is Pi to a thousand places.
Amy: I'd say sorry I asked, but I didn't.