Amy: Hi, Sheldon. What's up?
Sheldon: Good news. You're an asteroid.
Amy: Uh, please tell me what to say next.

Sheldon: You know how, when you're sick, you're allowed to be cranky and say whatever you want and other people's feelings don't matter?
Amy: Ooh. Gentle and loving. This is gonna be tricky.

Amy: Do you need anything else?
Sheldon: You know exactly what I need.
Amy: Fine. [sings and plays autoharp] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Sheldon: That's nice. Now in German.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Weiches Kätzchen, warmes Kätzchen, das nie und nimmer murrt. Liebes Kätzchen, müdes Kätzchen, schnurrt, schnurrt, schnurrt.
Sheldon: Great. Now Mandarin.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Ruǎnmiánmián de xiǎo māomī máoróngrōng, kuàilè kēshuì qīngqiǎo māomī, gūlǔ gūlǔ gūlǔ.
Sheldon: Now Navajo.

Amy: Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette. Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend. Deal with it.

Amy: I think it might be fun to be someone else tonight.
Raj: Actually, you're all just going to be yourselves.
Amy: Oh, uck.

Amy: I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
Penny: That's super helpful, Amy. Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that.
Amy: I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here.

Amy: I'll miss you.
Sheldon: I'll miss you, too.
Amy: I'll miss you more.
Sheldon: Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.
Amy: (giggles) If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss you open parentheses X plus one, close parentheses to the second-

Bernadette: You know, there's so much money in pharmaceuticals, we don't even wash out our old test tubes. We just throw 'em out and get new ones.
Amy: I just got a brand new, state-of-the-art fMRI machine.
Bernadette: Whoa, those things are so expensive.
Amy: I know! Sometimes I just lie down in there and take a nap. It's like a million dollar bunk bed.

Amy: Okay, how do you want to play this? Do you want to pretend like nothing's bothering you and blow up later, or do you just want to be a maniac right now?

Amy: Thank you, your majesties. Thank you to the Nobel Committee. We are deeply honored. I would just like to take this moment to say to all the young girls out there who dream about science as a profession: go for it. It is the greatest job in the world. And if anybody tells you you can't, don't listen. And now, speaking of not listening, my husband, Dr. Sheldon Cooper.