Bernadette: Amy, I noticed your status still says "in a relationship" on Facebook.
Amy: You're right. I should probably let all of my Facebook friends know.
Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.

Penny: There you go, you're all done!
Amy: That wasn't so bad. Nice!
Boy, if my mom could see me now, she'd lock me in the sin closet.
Bernadette: That's a joke, right?
Amy: Actually, the joke was on her. I could still see the TV through the slats.
Penny: I'm starting to see why you and your mom aren't very close.

Amy: Uh, well, actually, to be honest I haven't told her yet.
Penny: You've been giving me a hard time and you haven't even told your mom about Sheldon?
Amy: I'm feeling a little dizzy from all the blood loss. I don't know what you're talking about.

Amy: (watching Fun with Flags) I'm going to kill him.

Amy: How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me, and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia.

Amy: Hold on. You're getting married and you didn't invite me?
Penny: It was kind of a spur of the moment thing.
Amy: Wow. Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.

Amy: I didn't kill anything. You did, talking about your stupid TV show.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly. I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.
Amy: Really? That's the commitment issue you're wrestling with?

Amy: Sure, his mom gets roses. When I want them, they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."
Sheldon: You act like I didn't get you that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
Amy: He's right. Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms for two or three magical years.

Amy: When there was a lice epidemic at my school, everybody got it except me. I tried to fool everyone by sprinkling sugar in my hair, but I just got attacked by bees.

Sheldon: Do you need to borrow a toothbrush or pajamas?
Amy: Would it alarm you to know that I hid those things here two years ago just in case this ever came up?
Sheldon: It would, but you know how much I admire preparedness. How did you know we'd be in the living room?
Amy: Who says this is the only one I hid?

Amy: I'd say Knox over Ticonderoga 'cause it's got the gold, and McBlanket over Sumter 'cause it has a higher thread count.

Sheldon: It reminds me of when my stupid brother and sister would build forts in the living room, and wouldn't let me in. I hated that so much.
Amy: You know, there's nothing I can do about getting you invited to the symposium, but if you wanted we could build a fort.
Sheldon: Isn't that a little juvenile?
Amy: More juvenile than this? *Puts up picture of smiling Sheldon to her face*

Sheldon: Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
Amy: Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters. I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
Sheldon: That's a big step.
Amy: It's a big fort.

Penny: You still worried some Berkeley girl's gonna steal him away?
Amy: Yes. Who do you think gave him the danger whistle?

Amy: Can I be in charge of pricing? I've been going to garage sales my whole life.
Can you believe I got these pantyhose for a nickel?
Howard: All right, Amy's in charge of pricing, and being seventy-five.