Amy: I can't believe I bleached my moustache for this.

Leonard: So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study?
Amy: Sadly, I'm no longer associated wtih that project.
Leonard: Why? What happened.
Amy: Typical bureaucratic nonsense. You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance, you can dissect their brains, but you throw their own faeces back at them and suddenly you're unprofessional.

Bernadette: I just think in relationships you get back what you put into them.
Amy: That's not always true. Last night, I gave Sheldon my best come-hither look, and he responded by explaining how wheat came to be cultivated.

Penny: When Leonard comes out, he is not gonna feel great, so please don't give him a hard time.
Amy: Penny has a good point. This is like the man in the supermarket with the goiter on his neck. Whatever you're thinking, just keep it to yourself.
Sheldon: It was like a grapefruit.
Amy: And I'm sure he knew that before you held a grapefruit up next to it!

Amy: When I get married, I'm going to register at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
Penny: Eww, why?
Amy: 'cause I've always wanted a whole human skeleton and they are really spendy.

Penny: Amy, you?
Amy: Can't help ya, kid. Whenever I'm around Sheldon, I feel like my loins are on fire. In the good way. Not the urinary tract infection way.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Amy: I once looked in Sheldon's underwear drawer. He yelled at me. But now I know what it looks like and he can never take that away.

Amy: Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. Everything really is coming up Amy.

Amy: I love his eidetic memory, it's so sexy. Sheldon, what are the ingredients in Pringles?
Sheldon: Dried potatoes, vegetable oil, corn flour, wheat starch, maltodextrin, salt, and my favorite ingredient of all, uniformity.
Amy: The uterus quivers, does it not?

Amy: No, no, no, this is not the wedding I wanted. I wanted to wear my maid of honor dress and walk down the aisle with a hundred eyes on me, while a string quartet plays The Way You Look Tonight.
Bernadette: That wasn't going to be our procession music.
Amy: Well, it was going to be mine.

Penny: "So instead she asked if in the future Montana ever became a state."
Amy: Hey, in the 1800s that was considered flirting.

Penny: "'Time travel? I don't understand', said Amelia. Cooper stared at her, 'Which word don't you understand? Time or travel."
Bernadette: Wow. Even in your fantasy, Sheldon's kind of exhausting.
Amy: He's like that in the beginning so she can change him. It's called good writing. And wishful thinking.

Amy: It's not about me and Sheldon. It's about a young woman in the 1800s named Amelia, and the time-traveling physicist named Cooper she falls in love with.

Amy: You know there was a time when I was alone and had no friends. I'm starting to miss that.