Bernadette: It's what I do with Howard. I'm much smarter than he is. But it's important to protect his manhood.

Bernadette: If this doesn't get him in to your bedroom, nothing will.

Raj: Okay, look, I'm on the Air Force Web site, and the department that e-mailed you is in charge of acquisitions. So maybe they just want to give you a lot of money for your invention.
Howard: Oh, please, that's not how it works. You saw E.T., Avatar, Jurassic World. The military just shows up and takes over.
Bernadette: You do realize those weren't documentaries, right?

Howard: Okay, just to set the record straight, I didn't hire the prostitute, she was a gift from him. Shame on you, Raj. That is not how we treat women in this country.
Bernadette: Don't you try and blame this on him.
Raj: Thank you, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Zip it, pervert!

Penny: I didn't know you could drink while you were breastfeeding.
Bernadette: Yeah, they say the yeast in beer helps with milk production.
Amy: I'm pretty sure that's a myth. Let me check.
Bernadette: Ruin it for me, and I'll break this glass over your head.

Bernadette: Do you know what? It's just a research project. The most important job in the world is gonna be raising this child. It's all I need to give my life meaning.
Penny: Oh, that's so beautiful.
Bernadette: You believe me? Oh, good. Eleven more chumps like you, I'll have the jury eating out of my hand.

Penny: It's just, he's so passionate about so many different things. I just don't get that way. Do you?
Bernadette: Well, sure. I'm pretty passionate about science. I remember the first time I looked through a microscope and saw millions of tiny microorganisms. It was like a whole other universe. If I wanted to, I could wipe it out with my thumb like a god.

Bernadette: You okay? You seem distracted.
Howard: I'm just thinking about Raj.
Bernadette: I'm thinking about Chris Hemsworth.

Bernadette: Look at Howard. He was a disaster when I met him. Now he's a foxy astronaut with a hot wife.
Raj: Wait, he always wanted to be an astronaut.
Bernadette: He thinks that, too. That's how good I am.

Bernadette: I guess we're going to have to do all the cooking.
Howard: I have a better idea.
Bernadette: If you think you're going to get to me do all this by yourself, you're crazy.
Howard: I was going to get Raj to do it all by himself.
Bernadette: Oh, well that's a great idea.

Bernadette: That bitch!

Amy: There sure are a lot of little kids here.
Penny: I can't believe we thought this would make us feel grown up.
Bernadette: I can't believe the waiter thought I was your daughter.

Bernadette: Howie, I love you. And as your wife, your mother is every bit as much my problem as she is yours. So, I want a divorce.

Bernadette: (Sounding like Mrs. Wolowitz) He wants butter!

Howard: I love that I'm a slob around here and you're kinda okay with that.
Bernadette: Uh-huh. And I love that I work and do all the cleaning and you're okay with that.