Raj: Hello Mummy, Daddy, how are you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Pretty good, can't complain.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh I'm sure you can. Just give it a minute.

Dr. Koothrappali: Matchmaking, very smart move son. Much better than marrying for love.
Mrs. Koothrappali: We married for love.
Dr. Koothrappali: And it's been wonderful.

Dr. Koothrappali: I see you got engaged.
Penny: Yes, we did.
Dr. Koothrappali: Let me tell you a story.
Raj: Dad.
Dr. Koothrappali: Sorry. I'm sure you won't grow to hate each other.

Dr. Koothrappali: Son, don't take this the wrong way, but what's your problem?
Raj: I would tell you, but apparently it takes 45 minutes.

Raj: I can't believe what I'm hearing. This is deeply hurtful.
Dr. Koothrappali: You're also too sensitive. Women don't want that either.

Dr. Koothrappali: All right. Let me ask you a question. What do you think of this woman?
Raj: Oh. Oh, my God, she's beautiful. Is that who you're going to set me up with?
Dr. Koothrappali: No! That's who I'm dating. But maybe she has an older sister.

Dr. Koothrappali: Well, that's not going to be our story. Our story is that she's a liar. And-and old. An old, dirty liar.
Raj: Oh, no. She's-she's actually great. I'm the one who screwed up.
Dr. Koothrappali: Well, don't say that to them. She's bad. You're good. They have to pay me back for my wedding deposits.
Raj: (sighs) This is all my fault. I should have I should have just trusted her.
Dr. Koothrappali: So you're saying you still want to get married? Fine. Then I'll call her parents and we'll straighten this whole thing out.
Raj: I don't think she wants to marry me. And honestly she deserves someone better.
Dr. Koothrappali: Rajesh, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You're a good man.
Raj: Wow. Y-You've never told me that.
Dr. Koothrappali: You're also a dope.
Raj: That you've said.
Dr. Koothrappali: But your heart's in the right place, and you deserve happiness.
So you just need to figure out what you want, and if that means cancelling the wedding, we cancel the wedding.
Raj: Thank you.
Dr. Koothrappali: But figure it out quickly, or I'll be celebrating my next birthday with a lot more elephants and marigolds than I expected.

Dr. Koothrappali: So, are you boys academics like our son?
Guys: Yes.
Dr. Koothrappali: And your parents are comfortable with your limited earning potential?
Guys: Not at all.
Raj: Papa, please don't start.
Dr. Koothrappali: God, its just a question, hes so sensitive.

Leonard: Dr. and Mrs. Koothrappali, in all fairness, it wasn't entirely Rajs fault.
Dr. Koothrappali: This is a family matter Sheldon.
Leonard: No, I'm Leonard.
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, sorry, you all look alike to us.

Dr. Koothrappali: Now, hold on. If she is dating an American, that's not a bad way to go. He's Jewish. Those chaps are very successful, and they don't drink a lot.

Dr. Koothrappali: I, too, was in a relationship with someone who made me feel bad about myself.
Raj: If you're talking about Mom, I don't want to hear it.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm just saying, if you replace Howard with a nice 22-year-old grad student, your self-confidence will soar.