Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 39 of 59

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Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Sheldon: She befriends them and then lies in wait until they reveal a marketable idea, which she steals and sells to the highest bidder.
Leonard: That's ridiculous.
Sheldon: Oh, is it? Well, let's see you come up with an explanation as to why this woman hangs out with us all the time.
Penny: Oh, great. You know what? I've already mooched dinner off you guys. I don't need to listen to this.
Howard: There's your answer: free food.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Stuart: "To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
Sheldon: For the record, he also thinks Walgreens and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
Howard: That's not true. At Walgreens I was over the moon for their store-brand antacids.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Howard: I understand your point, but given a choice Jews always go with Chinese food.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Sheldon: I think the time has come to acknowledge that we are paying the price for some of us failing to attend my Physics Department paintball strategy meeting.
Howard: I told you, my mom has spider veins. I had to take her to the laser clinic.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Howard: Court-martial, shmort-martial, Leslie Winkle is the fifth girl I've ever had sex with. I mean, for free.
Raj: And plus, you got a rapid prototyper. That's an expensive piece of equipment, dude.
Leonard: And the rest of us have had our budgets cut to the bone.
Howard: Okay. One way to look at this is I'm getting new equipment and you're not, and that's unfair. But a better way to look at this is that I'm getting sex and you're not, and that's delightful.

Quote from the episode The Cushion Saturation

Howard: Don't come in, Ma.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Why not?
Leslie: He's got company.
Howard: Oh, there's the arrhythmia.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Is she Jewish?
Howard: Are you Jewish?
Leslie: No.
Howard: Yes!

Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation

Howard: Raj is a proud, passionate man. If you go running out on him again, you're only gonna get like three of four more chances before you are history.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Sheldon: Howard, please. This is Stephen Hawking. Perhaps my only intellectual equal.
Howard: Oh, you can't be serious.

Quote from the episode The Hawking Excitation

Sheldon: I did it. Had to go to three clothing stores, but we finally found a dress that could envelop your mother.
Howard: I should have sent you to the custom car cover place in Altadena. They have her pattern on file.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: I don't like to kiss and tell, but somebody made it to eighth base.
Leonard: What the hell is eighth base?
Howard: Seventh base with shirt off. Well, my shirt.

Quote from the episode The Psychic Vortex

Howard: Let me show you another way to look at this. Here we have the universe of all women. These are the ones you want to sleep with. These are the women who believe exactly what you believe. These are the women who would be willing to sleep with you. And right there in the little triple intersection is your ideal mate. Odds are she's a short physicist with low self-esteem who lives in a government research facility in China.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Howard: Hey, you know what'd be a great idea? We get some girls over here and play Laser Obstacle Strip Chess.
Leonard: Believe me, Howard, any girl who would be willing to play that, you don't want to see naked.
Howard: You underestimate me.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Penny: Well, it's a little juvenile. I mean, it kind of looks like the MySpace page of a 13-year-old girl.
Leonard: No, it doesn't.
Howard: Please, Dateline could use it to attract predators.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Leonard: Here you go. Oh, you owe me another two dollars. The price of mu-shu pork went up.
Howard: It's getting tougher and tougher to be a bad Jew.

Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability

Howard: Ugh. This mu-shu pork is burning a hole through me duodenum.
Raj: Leviticus 11:3 "Only that which parteth the hoof and cheweth the cud among the beasts shall ye at."
Howard: Hey, do I mock you with the Bhagavad-Gita every time you scarf down a whopper?

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