Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 5 of 68

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Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard it's the phone!
Howard: I know it's the phone ma! I hear the phone!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Who is calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well ask them why are they calling at this ungodly hour!
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Wolowitz: Well no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Wolowitz: The way I see it, I'm halfway to pity sex.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: (On the phone) Howard, I'm sick.
Howard: (Hesitating, Imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) Howard's sleeping, this is his mother. Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
Sheldon: I need soup!
Howard: (Imitating Mrs. Wolowitz) Then call your own mother.

Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

Raj: Are they actually arguing about comic books?
Leonard: No, that can't be right.
Howard: Maybe "Thor's Hammer" is a new color of nail polish.

Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.

Quote from the episode The Focus Attenuation

Leonard: Penny is not the reason I did not pursue that idea.
Sheldon: Oh really? Since meeting her, what have been your greatest accomplishments?
Raj: Easy. Sleeping with Penny.
Howard: Getting Penny to go back out with him after she dumped him.
Raj: Tricking Penny into getting engaged.
Howard: And a few weeks ago he almost did a pull-up!

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Wolowitz: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously your super power is brainwashing.

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Howard: Oh great it's my cousin David about the ring. Hey David what'd you find? Sure half a carat is fine. Her freakishly small hands make anything look big. It's one of the reasons I love her.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Howard: Women, you can't live with them. You can't successfully refute their hypotheses.
Sheldon: Amen to that.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Howard: Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy, they're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosoms jump out and say "Howdy".
Sheldon: Bosoms would not have said "Howdy" in the 15th century. If anything, they would've said "Huzzah".
Howard: I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon, I just want to be part of the conversation.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Howard: Grab a napkin, homey, you just got served.
Leonard: That's fine, you win.
Howard: What's his problem?
Sheldon: His imaginary girlfriend broke up with him.
Howard: Been there!

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Wolowitz: *After he fixed Sheldon's algorithm* Gee, why can't Sheldon get a friend?

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Amy: (About Sheldon) Why do I even try?
Bernadette: I'm going to fix this right now.
Howard: Okay, but just make it look like an accident.

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Penny: It is the things you love that make you who you are.
Wolowitz: I guess that makes me large breasts.

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