Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 4 of 72

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Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Priya: Indian parents are very protective of their children.
Howard: Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Beverly Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.

Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative

Sheldon: I see. I assume since the rest of you have set the bar so low, you're saving the most impressive contribution for last. Go on Howard, dazzle me.
Howard: Well, my power is the ability to pretend like I give a damn about your piddly-ass problem. And that's 24/7 buddy.

Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Wolowitz: Winnie-the-Pooh is out of the honey tree.

Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex.

Quote from the episode The Mystery Date Observation

Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Penny: Okay, help me out here. How does an archaeology professor get that good with a whip?
Howard: Maybe he took a class at the adult bookstore. That's how I learned.

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Bernadette: After two days of taking care of her, excuse me for stopping to get a mocha?
Howard: A mocha?! Well, it must be nice to be Queen.

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Bernadette: Howard, get off of him.
Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Howard: Don't be oversensitive. He's calling you illiterate, not your race.
Raj: Oh, okay. Good.

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Howard: We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Penny: Hey, guys. What'd I miss, what'd I miss?
Howard: Giselle's hanging by a thread.
Penny: Oh, good, I hate her.
Howard: Then you're not invited to our wedding.

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard it's the phone!
Howard: I know it's the phone ma! I hear the phone!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Who is calling at this ungodly hour?
Howard: I don't know!
Mrs. Wolowitz: Well ask them why are they calling at this ungodly hour!
Howard: How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?

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