Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 68 of 70

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Quote from the episode The Tenant Disassociation

Howard: Do you see anything that could help us locate her?
Bernadette: Hmm, let me have a look.
Howard: She's got eagle eyes, always spotting continuity errors in movies. (chuckles) It's not annoying at all.

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Stuart: "To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
Sheldon: For the record, he also thinks Walgreens and the dry cleaners are out of this world.
Howard: That's not true. At Walgreens I was over the moon for their store-brand antacids.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Raj: Ah, the premature "I love you".
Howard: I guessed premature. Does that count?

Quote from the episode The Fermentation Bifurcation

(at the urinals)
Leonard: Maybe we should take a step back.
Howard: Take a step back? I'm not a young man any more.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What can I tell you? After I found the courage to put her pants back on, I was unstoppable.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Howard: Hey, Ma, twinkle, twinkle, your little star is home. (Fails to open the door) Ma, the chain's on the door.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard? I thought I wasn't going to see you till tomorrow.
Howard: Yeah, well, Bernie's not feeling well. So I thought I'd stop by, tell you about the greatest adventure of my life, see if you can make me feel bad about it.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Uh, uh, okay. Hold on, I'm not decent.
Howard: All right. (Speaking to himself) Woman hasn't tied her robe in 20 years. Suddenly she's not decent?

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: You brought a girl to the Mars Rover control room?
Howard: Yeah, I picked her up in the bar. She's a doctor. One free barium enema and my mother won't care she's not Jewish.
Leonard: Wait a minute, so the eye patch and the insults worked?
Howard: No, there were three other guys with eye patches, it was a fiasco. What did work was, "How'd you like to visit a secret government facility?"

Quote from the episode The Matrimonial Metric

Amy: I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
Howard: Please. I've been sending food back my entire life. One of my first full sentences was, "I had breast milk for breakfast!"

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, co-designer of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.
Ramona: Ew.

Quote from the episode The Long Distance Dissonance

Howard: We should call Guinness, that might be a record.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well.
Ramona: Again, ew.

Quote from the episode The Bus Pants Utilization

Penny: Look, can't you just let him play with you until bedtime?
Leonard: We're not playing. This is real work.
Howard: We're going to be hundred-aires.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Howard: What you've got to keep in mind is that ever since my dad left, I've been the whole world to my mother. I mean, she'd be threatened by any woman who can give me what she can't.
Bernadette: You mean sexual intercourse?
Howard: Well, when you say it like that you make it sound creepy.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Raj: Oh, my God, you're back. Oh, look at you. You, you look like you grew.
Howard: Yeah. The lack of gravity did decompress my spine, so I'm like an inch and a half taller. I'm going to the DMV tomorrow to get my license changed before I shrink back.

Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Raj: This is fun. I've never used a hydraulic thermoforming press before.
Howard: Pretty sweet, huh? This little baby set the university back 175 grand.
Leonard: That's three minutes. Should we see what we got?
Howard: Hang on.
Raj: Oh, yeah. This is one good-looking panini.
Howard: Hand me the tuna melt.

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