Vote for your favorite The Big Bang Theory episodes in our tournament

Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 68 of 77

Searching Search quotes

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: That green bag is Dr. Cooper's. Here's an extra five. Make him wait.

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I also now have three points on a driver's license I do not yet possess, and I was forced to issue an undeserved apology, simply because I refuse to urinate in a stainless steel bowl in front of criminals.
Howard: Plus, you didn't get to meet Stan Lee.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Raj: Oh, well, who was it?
Howard: It doesn't even matter. I'm happily married. The point is women - plural - find me appealing.

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: I'm thinking one way to counter bias in the peer-review process is for papers to be submitted under gender-neutral names. Like S. Smith instead of Samantha Smith.
Sheldon: I supposed there is a history for professional women using their initials so as not to be pre-judged. Harry Potter's J.K. Rowling, Star Trek's D.C. Fontana.
Howard: Van Nuys pole dancer D.D. Melons.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: I'm just thinking. If you had sex with that guy, I mean, there's nothing I can do here that will make any kind of ... impact.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Howard: Have you ever played a game with Bernadette?
Amy: No.
Howard: Have you ever gone into a steel cage with a wolverine?

Quote from the episode The Celebration Reverberation

Raj: Those are the only other people you invited? What about the kids from the Daddy and Me class?
Howard: Oh, grow up.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Howard: I just never figured that a guy like me going out with a girl like you would ever have to compete with a guy like that.
Bernadette: Wait a minute, "a girl like me"? What's that mean?
Howard: I'm-I'm--
Bernadette: Are you saying you don't think I'm hot enough to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: No! No, I'm saying exactly the opposite.
Bernadette: I'm too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Howard: Haven't you ever been told how beautiful you are in flawless Russian?
Penny: No, I haven't.
Howard: Get used to it.
Penny: Yeah, I probably won't.

Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Bernadette: Can't believe we lost her. What was I thinking? I'd be a terrible mom.
Howard: Well, maybe with the first one. But kids are like pancakes. The first one's always a throwaway.

Quote from the episode The Plagiarism Schism

Howard: It could've been anybody. Marta, Gina, Annalise-
Raj: It's a little creepy that you remember all their names.
Howard: Not just their names. The cars they drove, the color of their eyes, and whether or not they had boyfriends.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: Hey Raj! (silence) Still not talking to me, huh?
Sheldon: Don't take it personally. It's his pathology. He can't talk to women.
Howard: He can't talk to attractive women, or in your case a cheesecakescented Goddess!

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Howard: That's not true. My happiness is not dependent on my best friend being miserable and alone.
Raj: Thank you.
Howard: Although, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit of a perk.

Quote from the episode The Wedding Gift Wormhole

Howard: So, what's her deal? Is she into you or does she just hate her parents?

Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: It's nice of your old school to let us try out our science talk on some female students.
Howard: Well, they're actually pretty excited. I'm their most famous alum. If you don't count the serial killer who ate all those prostitutes.

Showing quotes 1,006 to 1,020 of 1,155Sort by  popularity | date added | episode