Penny: Okay, what just happened?
Leonard: I don't know. Between you playing chess like Bobby Fischer and Sheldon being okay with you in his spot, I'm guessing someone went back in time, stepped on a bug, and changed the course of human events.

Sheldon: I don't come into your house and touch your board.
Leslie: There are no incorrect equations on my board.
Sheldon: Oh, that is so... so...
Leslie: I'm sorry, I've got to run. If you come up with an adjective, text me.

Howard: I love watching Raj and Sheldon try to work together.
Leonard: Yeah, it's like if Alien and Predator decided to go partners in a Jamba Juice.

Penny: Oh, there it is again. You think I'm stupid.
Leonard: No, there's a difference between being stupid and acting stupid.
Penny: Oh, yeah? Well, there's a difference between being a jerk and being an ass.
Leonard: No, there isn't. They're synonyms.

Leonard: Sheldon took our order.
Penny: Sheldon doesn't work here.
Leonard: Well, honey, not to complain, but we were starting to think you didn't either.

Leonard: I just keep thinking how cool it would be if I called my mom and told her that I got tenure at Caltech.
Penny: She'd be proud, huh?
Leonard: Oh, very. Assuming she takes my call.

Leonard: Ladies,
Emily: Are you being polite or scared?
Leonard: Yep.

Leonard: We don't have an appointment. And we don't belong here, but we're like crazy big fans. Crazy for Star Wars crazy, not like we have a backpack full of duct tape. Although we do have a backpack that you really don't want to look in.

Sheldon: All right, we have defeated the first challenge. Now we must steel ourselves to face the monster who defends the gate.
Leonard: We're trying to get past a security guard. Not rescue Zelda.

Sheldon: Do you think they're gonna call the police?
Leonard: I don't know. Maybe they'll call Imperial Officers to take us to a holding cell on the Death Star.
Sheldon: I think that's below the pay grade of an Imperial Officer. Storm troopers would really be the ones-
Leonard: Oh, shut up!

Sheldon: Are you still mad at me?
Leonard: Yes. We missed our lecture, we were almost arrested, and you got me locked in a room with a man who forced his tongue down the throat of a stuffed Wookiee.

Raj: You guys know the new discovery class missions that NASA's been working on?
Howard: Yeah.
Raj: Well, they're looking to include a message from Earth in case one of them is encountered by alien life.
Leonard: When I encountered alien life, I discovered that the key thing was not to sit in its spot.

Leonard: That's actually a valid example. Animals do deliver messages through scent.
Raj: Bees talk to each other by dancing. Whales have their songs.
Leonard: Penny has about 20 different ways of rolling her eyes that each mean something different.

Leonard: Well, I'm excited to show you around.
Penny: You think we'll have time to visit your mom over there?
Leonard: Yes. We'll also have time to put my junk in a garlic press, but I'm not doing that either.

Beverly Hofstadter: I read your paper. It was very impressive.
Sheldon: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: We just spent two hours in traffic. Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper?
Beverly Hofstadter: Of course I did, but it's a mother's job to make sure her child's self-esteem is not dependent on anyone's approval.
Leonard: That's so sweet, you think I have self-esteem.