Leonard: You feel like driving to Arizona with me?
Penny: I can't. I have that job interview.
Leonard: Oh, right.
Penny: Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different. Why did you change your hair? I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back."

Penny: Look, Sheldon, I'm really, really sorry but it's only going to be for a week. Can't you be a little bit flexible?
[Leonard, Howard, Raj and Sheldon all look at her]
Penny: Yeah, sorry, I didn't really think that through.

Penny: The great thing about Ernie (Sesame Street Puppet) is that he didn't ask for anything, he just gave.

Penny: I was in junior rodeo. I can hog-tie and castrate him in 60 seconds.

Penny: Okay, Babydoll Pink, let's see if you can cover up the fact that I got my dad's feet.

Sheldon: Excuse me. This is not about protecting my friend. Im a big fan of homeostasis. Do you know what that is?
Penny: Of course not.
Sheldon: Homeostasis refers to a systems ability to regulate its internal environment and maintain a constant condition of properties like temperature or pH.
Penny: Worst bedtime story ever!

Penny: You know I'm a big believer in breaking bad news to a guy when you're in bed with him. That's how I told my high school boyfriend I slept with his brother. That's how I told his brother the same thing.

Sheldon: This alcohol is not working, I still feel dizzy.
Penny: Here, try this one.

Leonard: You know, Penny, we make such a good team, maybe we could enter a couple of Halo tournaments sometime.
Penny: Or we could just have a life.

Zack: Look up in the sky. It's a bird. It's a plane. I forget the rest.
Penny: All right. Let's get this thing over with.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. But in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?
Howard: Relax. No one's going to be looking at her hair. Ow! I mean, ow.
Zack: Hold on. The costume came with a black wig. Where is it, babe?
Penny: No. I'm not wearing it. It looks stupid.
Zack: Come on. We're trying to win a contest here.
Penny: Forget it. I'm not wearing the wig.
Zack: Penny, there's no I in Justice League.
Howard: Well, actually.
Sheldon: Don't. He's making our case.
Zack: Okay, babe. You're kind of embarrassing me in front of my friends.
Penny: Okay. You know what? I changed my mind. I'm not going.

Penny: No, your Reebok has a gunshot wound and you have an ouchie on your pinky toe.

Bernadette: Leonard does things he doesn't like to make you happy.
Penny: Well, yeah he's my boyfriend, isn't that like his job?
Amy: Then what's your job?
Penny: Letting him make me happy.

Penny: Bernadette told me everything. Now you don't get the left or the right.

Penny: Should we take this little party to the bedroom?
Leonard: We don't have to. We have the whole place to ourselves.
Penny: Oh, that's true.
Leonard: In fact, if you want, we can do it right here on Sheldon's spot.
Penny: That is the least sexy thing anyone's ever said to me.

Penny: Got it. Hey, who's the murderer?
Raj: Any question but that.
Penny: Sorry. Hey, who's not the murderer?