Penny: Hey. What are you guys doing?
Raj: Uh, we have a bunch of Bitcoin on an old laptop, and it could be worth, like, a lot of money.
Penny: What-- You're kidding.
Leonard: No. We-we could be sitting on a fortune.
Penny: Okay, let the record show, I did not marry you for money, but you just got way more attractive.

Penny: That's a whole lot of weird before cofee.

Penny: Is it normal for the husband to kind of completely stop giving a crap?
Bernadette: Uh-oh, what's going on?
Penny: Well, Leonard used to do all these things, like bring me flowers and wear pants.

Penny: Anyway, who cares what I think?
Amy: I do. You're the-the coolest, prettiest, best-dressed person in my life.
Penny: Okay, that would be flattering, except I know all the people in your life.

Penny: Seriously, none of you liked it?
Bernadette: I thought it was brave. Does that count as liking it?
Penny: You know, how come nobody's talking about Howard's dopey haircut?
Bernadette: I think he looks cute.
Howard: And I think you're cute.
Raj: I think you're both cute.
Penny: I think I hate all of you nerds.

Penny: Come on. Anything can happen. We could push him down the stairs!

Penny: Okay, does everyone remember the rules? If he's shirtless, one sip. Posing with a pet, two sips. Pet and shirtless, chug like it's your job.

Penny: Boy, you know, when Sheldon sees you in that dress, he's gonna want to methodically take it off, fold it up, carefully place it in a storage box, label it, and then ravish you.

Penny: I can't believe I'm saying this, but can we watch the news or something?

Penny: Sweetie, you just need to relax. You know what I like to do?
Sheldon: Numb your brain with alcohol and watch a reality show where wealthy people pick fake arguments with each other?
Penny: Hey, don't knock it until you've wasted a couple hundred hours of your life.

Penny: It's okay, I'll still go.
Leonard: You don't think you'll be bored?
Penny: Oh, I'll have some wine and listen to people go on about crap I don't understand. I mean, how is it any different than every single day of my life?
Sheldon: I won't be there.
Leonard: Look at that, it is a party!

Penny: What are you lunatics doing?!
Amy: Sheldon had a breakthrough.
Sheldon: Actually, Amy and I had a breakthrough.
Penny: Oh, science? Shocking!
Leonard: You don't understand. This could be really big.
Sheldon: No, Penny's right. We have our whole lives to do science together.
Amy: Let's get married.
Penny: All right. It's go time! I am pumped!

Leonard: How'd you get ready so fast?
Penny: Oh, I packed light. Once I got through an entire spring break with nothing but a long T-shirt and a belt.
Leonard: Why'd you need a belt?
Penny: It's called an evening look.

Sheldon: Well, if I'm being honest, I never forgot about string theory. It's remarkable. It's the closest we've come to a theory of everything, something even Einstein couldn't figure out.
Penny: Well, if he couldn't figure it out, maybe it's just wrong.
Sheldon: But it's so elegant. I mean, look, [drawing on his white board] string theory posits that the fundamental particles we see in three dimensions are actually strings embedded in multidimensional space-time.
Penny: Interesting. So that would mean ... that [silence] ... Can't do this by myself, buddy.

Penny: You're gonna be on Skype. They're not gonna see your legs.
Leonard: Well, I'm gonna go put on some pants just in case. But, I have to say, this is very freeing.
Penny: Add a belt and I'll take you some place nice.