Sheldon: Where is this going? Are you two ever getting married? And if so, where will we all live? Have you thought about that?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Penny?
Penny: Okay, wait, what are we doing?
Leonard: For some reason we're planning a future where we both live with Sheldon for ever.

Penny: I just got a part on a TV show.
Amy: Congratulations!
Leonard: That's great. Guys ...
The guys: Yeah ...
Amy: What's the show?
Penny: NC - I I? or, you know, NC - S T D. I don't know. It's the one with all the letters.

Penny: (On the phone) No, Dad. I don't think they cut me out of the show because I was too pretty. No, I don't need you to come out and kick Mark Harmon's ass.

Leonard: Okay, listen to me, this is just a minor setback.
Penny: No, it's not, okay? I've been out here for, like, ten years. I've nothing to show for it.
Leonard: Well, you have me.
Penny: You're right. I do have you. Mm. Let's get married.
Leonard: What?
Penny: Ooh. Leonard Hofstadter, will you marry me?
Leonard: Um…
Penny: Did you seriously just say um?
Leonard: Look, you know I love you but, but you're, you're drunk and sad and feeling lost.
Penny: Okay, so, so you don't want to marry me?
Leonard: That is not what I said.
Penny: No, forget it. I take it back. Offer's off the table.

Raj: [to Amy] If you were having Sheldon's baby, would you really want him in the room?
Penny: Yeah, if he's in the room when they're making the baby, I'll give you $10.

Amy: You wouldn't be dating Penny.
Leonard: You don't know that. I've been going to the Cheesecake Factory for years. I could have picked her up.
*Everybody laughs*
Penny: Oh, you weren't joking?

Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?
Leonard: *mumbles*
Penny: Few minutes it is.

Penny: Doing laundry?
Sheldon: Of course I'm doing laundry. Saturday night is laundry night and I'm in a laundry room, so I believe your inference is justified.
Penny: Oh, "My inference is justified", Sheldon you are so funny!

Amy: Here's another one. Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon, you never would have met comic book legend Stan Lee.
Penny: Great.

Sheldon: But none of you know what this is like. Being celebrated for something you wish you never did.
Penny: You clearly haven't been with me at Mardi Gras.

Penny: (To Raj's dog) Bark once if you need me to call PETA.

Sheldon: This day just keeps on getting worse and worse.
Penny: You know, if it makes you feel any better ...
Sheldon: It probably won't.
Penny: You're probably right.

Penny: Look, I'm telling you I've done it. I clearly remember the cow standing up and then a cow on its side.
Leonard: Were you drunk?
Penny: I was sixteen and in Nebraska, what do you think?
Leonard: I think you're the one who fell over.
Penny: Well that would explain why the sky was also on its side.

Penny: *Discourteously hands Howard a bottle of wine* Here, thank you for having us.
Howard: What's the matter with you?
Leonard: Oh, she's mad at me because she just found out she's married to Zack.
Howard: Really? That dumb ass you used to date? That's hysterical!
Penny: I can't believe I felt bad for opening this in the car.

Penny: I promise next time I get married, it won't be a joke. It will be for love ... or money.